Living The Dream
by CaptainAmmieMeetsCaptainJo
Summary: When Captain Ammie Sparrow and Captain Jo Sparrow get warped back to Captain Jack, what shall happen? And who will he choose? Cowritten by CaptainAmmie and CaptainDuckula! :::6th Chapter Up::
1. Scaring the Locals

**Living The Dream- Chapter One- Scaring The Locals- Ammie's POV**

**Disclaimer:** Pity, we don't own PotC, if we did, the movie would include Jack falling in love with both of us... :( Then he would eat cookies. I like cookies.

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Ammie sat mindlessly in front of the television screen. Usually, watching the telephone wasn't that captivating, but today, Ammie's friend, Josie, was over for one sole purpose, to watch Pirates of the Caribbean. Or rather- Captain Jack Sparrow.  
"Josie, pass the Root Beer!" I spastically ordered as I watched Josie enter the room with the popcorn she had wanted.  
I had told her before, I don't respect the whole authority thing and this wasn't an exception. I had to be in charge! Besides, that's what Sparrow's do and I, Captain Ammie Sparrow, was in fact a certified Sparrow! I smiled broadly with the mental picture of Jack smirking in my mind.

"Yes, almighty squacker." She said throwing a root beer at my head. It connected hard. "Squacker?" I asked. "WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL OSTRICHES WOULD YOU CALL ME THAT!""Cause you squack a lot! LOOK! IT'S JACK MY MAN!" Josie said throwing herself at the TV "He knows he wants me."

"He's MINE!"  
"That's what you think! Let's split him in half!"  
"Okay." I looked at Josie and at the same time we shouted. "I GET THE WAIST AND UP!"  
"There is only one way to settle this." Josie said.

"You mean..." I gasped.

"Yes...whoever eats the most cookies my grandma made will get his upper half."

"Fine." I agreed. Josie's grandma made the hardest and worst cookies ever. We were in for something.  
"Are you ready?" She asked me.

"Bring it on!" I grabbed a handful of cookies and we were off.

As I shoved a couple cookies into my mouth, I nearly gagged.

"BLOODY HELL!" I yelled at Josie between cookies, "WHAT ARE THESE MADE OF?"  
Josie looked up at me with a inquisitive look.

"Peanut Butter and Bologna, why?" she answered.

"WOOT! I LOVE THESE!" she joked sarcastically.  
Josie looked over to me as if I was a freak, which I was.

These would be great with Sunkist, you know." Amber added as she finished her sixth cookie.  
However, Josie could see my distress. Josie reached over her pile of cookies and poked my nose, making me spit out all of the contents of my packed mouth.

"HA! I HAVE WON! MUAHAHAHAHAH! VICTORY IS MINE!" Josie shouted running over to the TV "See Jack, that nasty lady won't hurt you anymore." Suddenly, the shot went from Jack to Barbossa and Josie screamed. I laughed.

"Sucker! Look's like Jack doesn't want you!" I told her. She scowled. I helped her up and we both sat on the couch drinking our root beers and eating popcorn.

"God, I want to sock Elizabeth in the face." Josie announced standing up. "Jack? Jack Sparrow!" She added imitating Liz. "YES LIZ JACK NOW SHUT THE HELL UP YOU WHINER!" She screamed at the TV.

"You are crazy." I informed her.

"I know." She smiled plopping herself next to me. She knocked all the popcorn on the floor in the process.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" I shouted jumping up.

"Sorry...it's not my fault that I, Josie SPARROW, haven't learned to be more careful." She said as I shoved a broom in her hand.

"Clean." I demanded.

"FINE!" She said. "Squacker." She added under her breath. I went to the cupboard and tried to grab the dust pan but it was far away. I leaned over on my tip toes, trying not to fall down the stairs and kill myself.

"AMMIE! I AM DONE!" Josie shouted.

"JOSIE...NO..." I screeched but it was too late she had pulled open the door and walked into me and we both fell to our doom.

"Josie?" I asked assuring she was still alive.

"Mhmm." was all I heard, but it was enough, Josie was alive and I had a new idea.

"You know, we could always split Jack down the center. I call left side!" I hyperactively noted.

Josie jumped up.

"That's bloody perfect, AMMIE!" she said.

"I know!" was all I could say, though it was pretty spazzy, "Let's go finish watching PotC"

"Zat is ze best idea I haff heard" Josie noted before walking back into the Rec Room where they watched all of their happy movies (mostly Pirates of the Caribbean.).

When they got back into the room, Ammie simpered mischievously.

"JACK!" I hollered at the TV. The Television wasn't working properly; it was all fuzzy and crackly!

"AMMIE! FIX IT!" yelled Josie. She was sitting only about 2 feet away from me.

I stood up quickly and staggered, in a way similar to Jack's, to the television. I jokingly looked back at Josie and looked around in a Jack like manner before poking the television.

"BLOODY LOBSTERS!" I screamed as my finger disappeared, "Josie- HAVE I GONE MAD!"

Josie stood up and walked towards the television, she poked it in the save way. Her hand disappeared as well.

**...o0o...**

"WHERE ARE WE!" Josie screamed, shielding the sun from her eyes.

"On **the** beach?" Ammie answered.

"This is no normal beach." Josie told her. "HOLY RUM GODS! This the beach..."

"I just said that."

"PORT ROYAL' BEACH!" Josie and Ammie looked at each other and screamed in delight. Immediately the stopped and looked at each other.

"We shall never speak of this girly moment for the rest of our lives. Savvy?" Josie said.

"Savvy!" Ammie said mocking Captain Jack Sparrow. "Now, where can we find us a handsome, charming..."

"Roguish, psychotic, Jack Sparrow?" They both pondered on this thought and Ammie yelled.

"THE DOCKS!"

"Brilliant Ammie. So very smart."

"I know."

"At least one of us is smart." Josie murmured. "I have nothing in me noggin." She hit her head and it sounded hollow.

"Woah." Ammie whispered.

"I know, it's so cool."

"You wish." Josie and Ammie began walking around when they noticed that they were wearing their clothes from 2005.

Josie was had on her 'Soon to be Mrs. Sparrow' shirt, Black jeans and her red and white K-Swiss. While I was wearing my 'I -heart- Captain Jack Sparrow!' t-shirt, Jeans, and Converse. My shirt even had a picture of Jack on it!

"We need clothes." Josie stated looking around.

"Thanks for the tips." Ammie muttered.

"There is no way in hell, that I am going to wear a dress." Josie said eyes wide and staring at a lady walking by her in a big, poofy dress.

"Likewise man." Ammie replied looking around. "Look, I want to wear something like that." She pointed over to two men about their size. Josie got a mischievous look in her eye and walked over to the men.

"Josie!" Ammie yelled. "What are you doing? DONT GET US IN TROUBLE." Josie just shook her hand at me and continued to walk up to the men. Problem: JosieTrouble. AmmieNo Trouble.

"Ello gentlemen." Josie began trying to sound British. She sounded like Jack Sparrow mixed with Shakespeare. "Could ye escort me ta tha alleyway down yonder. I dropped me...um, kercheif?"

"Certainly miss." The man said. They both grabbed Josie's hands and pulled her into the alleyway. I waited a moment and looked around nervously.

"'EY! What are ye doing! Stop it..." The man yelled.

"What have ye done to me friend?" The other guy shouted in annoyance. Soon, I heard something which sounded like wood; connect with something else which I imagined was a skull. After a moment Josie came out of the alley and threw the clothes at my feet.

"Way to go, mate" I muttered in an almost perfect Jack Sparrow voice as I picked up the smelly clothing, "You jus' fergot one very important thing, I'm Captain Ammie Sparrow, and old men smell badly"

Josie shrugged realizing the flaw in her plan.

"Worked until now." she murmured.

I rolled my eyes in frustration and began to lazily walk towards the docks. We could board the Pearl, Hide in Jack's Cabin, Watch him chan-No! Bad Ammie! No perverted thoughts now!

"Hey Josie, I have an idea" snickered Ammie as a sparkle went off in her hazel eyes as it always did when she was up to something.

"We can board the Pearl, Steal nice, not smelly clothing from AnaMaria or Jack, and see the o0ber hot pirate" I said to Josie loudly.

Josie nodded in shock, not from Ammie's idea, but from spotting the Pearl.

I literally jumped up and down at this sight.

"Jack!" Josie and I squealed in unison.

"I call dibbs on the left side!" Ammie yelled happily.

"RIGHT!" called Josie using her few brain cells to confuse Ammie.

"Huh?" I asked with lots of confusion.

"I WANT THE RIGHT SIDE OF HIM!" she hollered.

"Eek!" I screamed, "Yet another moment needing erasing"

"SWISH!" we both yelled in harmony to 'erase' the memory.

"I'm going to poke the BLACK PEARL FIRST!" I shrieked as I gleefully ran towards the Pearl stopping when a seemingly familiar figure blocked my path.

"AHH! IT'S NORRINGTON!" Josie screeched hding behind me. "Man, he is ober-ugly."

"Oh yeah." Norrington looked at Josie and me and was about to talk when Josie rambled on.

"This must mean that this ship is not the pearl but the dauntless! NO! I WANT ME WITTLE PEARLY!"

"Ladies, may I ask who you are?"

"You may not." I told him.

"And why not?"

"Cause she said not." Josie replied.

"Ohh...good one." I told her. She had confused Norrington.

"I don't have time for this." He said impatiently running to the docks were I saw a very familiar pirate leaning over a familiar LUCKY girl.

"ITS JACK!" Josie yelled. Jack looked up and gave us both his charming and seductive smile. Josie pretended to faint and I almost squealed in joy.

"Ammie, we are acting like fan girls." She said opening one eye.

"AH!" I shouted letting go of her and causing her to fall to the floor. "We are...opps, sorry."

"You better be."

"Now, we have business to attend to." I said helping her up and walking over to the crowd with her.

"...a compass that doesn't point north." Norrington said snapping the compass shut. Jack just stood there silently cursing the commodore.

"And I half expected it to be made of wood." Norrington told Jack. Jack just gave him a half smile.

"Dude, this isn't Peter Pan! There are no WOODED SWORDS!" Josie shouted.

"Righto!" I agreed. The crowd parted and Jack took us both in.

"Who are ye beautiful lasses?" Jack asked smiling at Josie and then at me.

"I'm Amber and this is..."

"My name is Josie but if you value life and limb you'll call me JO!" She told him.

"O' course...Jo." Josie blushed and crept back beside me. "And ye lass...do ye have a nickname?"

"Captain Ammie Spa...I mean, Ammie." Josie chuckled and I elbowed her in the back.

"Those are strange names to be sure, loves" Jack muttered pointlessly.

I shrugged, "I should say so."

Josie shot me a look as to say, "Shut it". I didn't.

"So, Captain Sparrow, can you help us?" asked Josie in her most Jack-less British accent.

"With wha'?" he asked apparently with confusion.

"We want to work on your ship, Captain" I said butting in. I could tell that wasn't exactly what Josie had been thinking, but she would get over herself.

"If ye hadn't noticed I am no where near me ship at tha moment."

"Oh yeah...I knew something BIG was missing." Josie said looking around. I rolled my eyes.

"But when I get me Pearl back..." Jack said glaring at Norrington. "And mark me words I will...surely we can find room aboard for two young women such as yourselves" he explained using his totally hot and customary hand gestures.

He continued, "And on tha' note, you my want to consider some less revealing clothes for around the crew, savvy?"

"Aye, savvy" Josie and I muttered at the same time. We glanced at each other with death glares, the real Captain Jack Sparrow couldn't be split in two, and now that we knew so, we were going to be more competitive.

"ENOUGH!" James shouted making Josie and I stop glaring at each other. "Who are ye both?"

"I believe we just established that!" Josie told him. I heard Jack laugh and I could feel a twinge of jealously.

"Indeed."

"Is that all you ever say man? I mean, it's bad enough you scare the hell out of Josie but UPDATE YOUR VOCABULARY!" Jack laughed even more. Josie-1 Ammie-1. I was catching up very fast.

"Gillette, fetch 3 pairs of irons." Josie and I looked at each other.

"Ams...did he just say 'irons?" Josie asked me.

"Aye, he did." I muttered watching Gillette advance upon us.

"Well, it was lovely chatting with you all but I think we will be going now!" Josie shouted grabbing my arm and we ran for our lives. "WAIT! JACK! I NEED JACK! I BREATH JACK..." Josie tried to turn around but I hit her in the face and scolded her.

"LATER! We will find him later just run!" I pulled her into the town. Many were staring at us, woman looking at us in disgust and men looking at us eagerly.

"OVER HERE!" Gillette screamed. Josie and I ran faster. Being the faster runner I sped in front of Josie and looked for a place to hide. I saw an open door and jumped into it. I waited for Josie to run by and finally she came and halted in front of the door.

"Now where did the squacker go?" She asked scratching her head. I snorted and pulled her into the room.

"RAPE! RAPE!"

"Shut up it's me!" I told her.

"Oh hello my dear friend."

"Why did you glare at me on the docks?" I asked her all of a sudden.

"I don't know maybe because you glared at me."

"Oh yeah...you realize that when we get around Jack we go evil on each others asses right?"

"I wouldn't know...I was to busy planning a way to get him to be mine!"

"You are hopeless." I rolled my eyes.

"So I've been told."

"Who's there?" Came a voice from the door. Josie and I slowly turned around and sighed. It was only Will.

"WILL?" Josie said. "Aren't you suppose to be at...I mean, how are you?" He looked at us suspiciously.

"How did you know my name?" He asked walking up to Josie.

"Um...I asked Elizabeth?" His eyes lit up at the sound of her name.

"Oh...well, nice to meet you..."

"Josie...call me Jo. And this is my friend, Ammie."

"Hello Ammie." Will said kissing my hand then he kissed Josie's. We both blushed. Now, Jack is way hotter than Will and both Josie and I knew that but Will was also hot but neither of us was going to give up Jack for Will.

One of us was going to have him, one way or another.

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_This has been a production of Captain Ammie (Captain-Ammie) and Captain Josie (CaptainDuckula)! wh00ties! Sorry Josie, I just had to put this up today! Forgive me? (laughs) I know you will, even if I have to bribe you with Ducks._

_Thanks for reading, now I order you to reveiw!  
Homie Pirates Out!_


	2. Here's Willy!

Top of Form

**Disclaimer: xP**

**Thanks to our reviewers. Luv ya'll.**

**It's JOSIE HERE! Aren't you all lucky? My neck hurts. :( Well, here is SECOND CHAPPIE! Leanan…I SAW IT! YESSSSSS! coughs It's good. coughs Really, its amazing. How come you didn't start at the beginning:(**

**Second Chapter: Here's Willy. (Josie's P.O.V) **

"Um, excuse me…are two alright?" Will asked.

"Huh…yeah." I told him.

"Why are you two here anyway?"

"Because we were being chased by the evil, ugly Commodore Norrington." I replied. "He makes me so qua."

"Qua?" Ammie asked. "What's qua?"

"I made it up it means hyper, angry AND scared."

"Weird."

"So…have you heard about Elizabeth and the pirate?" I asked facing Will.

"What!" Will asked alarmed.

"Oh yes my friend, it was a glorious day…until the evil but handsome pirate came along and saved Elizabeth's life." Will sighed in relief. "But, then he took his irons and put them around her neck and used her as a trade for freedom. It worked."

"He threatened Miss Swann?"

"Yepers Willy." Ammie told him. "It all happened so fast!"

"And then stupid Norrington sent his men after us…for no reason!"

"Stupid cheerio holes." Ammie shouted.

"LET US SMITE THEM!"

"Let's!"

"I can't believe he threatened Miss Swann."

"Oh…get over it Willy. It happened, the past is the past." Ammie told him. Dude, don't get Ammie frustrated cause she will go crazy on everyone's ass and stupid Will was making her go nuts.

"BUT HE THREATENED HER!" Ammie sighed and walked over to a hammer and began pounding the anvil.

"Shut up, it all happened so…DROP IT LIKE ITS HOT!" I said imitating Snoop Dogg. That guy scared me, he was, I mean, he IS a gangster and when he's in his scary ass 'Drop it like it's hot' video, he looks like a drugged up hippie.

"Ew, Snopp Dogg." Ammie exclaimed banging it even harder. "Dude, I could be the next Tre Cool. God, I love his name for he is...Tre Cool." She told me in a French accent.

"Umm, ok but I think you mean, Snoop doggity dogg!"

"RIGHT!"

"Are you two okay?" Will asked looking from Ammie to me.

"Oh yeah, this is us…normal." Ammie smiled.

"Where are you two from exactly?" Ammie and I looked at each other. How the hell were we going to explain that we come from a land where you could be free, where scary fan girls roamed the earth in hopes of catching a glimpse of some hot actor.

"We are…GREEK!" Ammie shouted.

"What the hell are you talking about…I'm from FRANCE!"

"You don't look French, and you don't look German."

"Well, we are actually a bit of both so if you put us together we are… 'Freek' I guess." I told him.

"HA! Freak…sounds just like us!" Ammie laughed. She dropped the hammer she was holding and looked at me.

"Wh00t! GO US!"

"Well, I suppose for the time being you can stay here…that is, if you don't have another home."

"We'd love to stay here!" Ammie shouted.

"Ohh….I WANNA RIDE THE DONKEY!" I yelled running over to it. I sat on the donkey and swung my leg's back and forth. "Move…I COMMAND YOU TO MOVE YOU LAZY…ASS!"

"Josie! Stop it! Don't infuriate the ass!" I yelled spasstically, but it was too late, Jo was already a lost cause. Well, she was lost in the sea of dirt.

"He won't move. I've tried for years to make him move." Will sighed staring at the donkey in pure hatred.

"Dear, Mr. Turner, would you mind to tell, is tha' ass of yours carnivoriousisticly carnivorious?" Ammie asked as she pulled me out of the sandy dirt stuff.

Will looked at her blankly. "Umm, No? Anyway, that donkey isn't one of the worlds greatest donkey's."

"Ohh…someone hates his ass." Ammie cooed.

"I'm gonna try and ride him once more." I declared hopping onto the donkey.

"HE WON'T MOVE AMMIE!"

"I know what to do!" Ammie exclaimed grabbing a hot poker and coming towards me.

"What are you you going to do with that?" I whimpered.

"I'm going to spank his ass." Ammie stopped behind the donkey, brought the poker up and whacked the donkey's ass. He made that noise donkey's do and away we went.

"DUDE! This is so fun!" I smiled. A turtle could probably beat us since the damn donkey was so slow. "This donkey is slower than me." I announced getting off him. Will was staring at Ammie.

"How…I should have tried that." Will muttered smiling.

"But you didn't and I did so HA!"

"Maybe they are in there." Came the voice of none other then: OH GOD…James Norrington and his cronies.

"I'll be right back."

"Okie dokie Mr. Pokie." Ammie said. Will stared at her for another moment and then walked out of the room leaving us all alone.

"I wanna name the donkey!" I told Ammie.

"What are you going to name it?"

"Eeyore the whore."

"What? Isn't Eeyore from Pooh Bear?"

"Yes…God, I love that bear so much!" I picked up a sword and gently brought it down on both sides of the donkey. "I christen you Eeyore the Whore." I clapped and Ammie threw some dirt in the air to celebrate.

"This calls for our happy dance!" Ammie shouted.

"Ams, you're so smart!" I shouted twirling like a ballerina.

"What are ye lasses doing?" Came a voice from the door.

"**RAPIST!"** I screamed falling down on the floor.

"Jack…" Ammie said.

"Close enough." I muttered. I heard the sound of boots and soon I was face to face with Jack.

"Do ye need any 'elp?"

"No, I can get up man. I'm not a helpless female like…Elizabeth!"

"RIGHTO!" Ammie shouted. "Jack…what are you here for?" Ammie asked pretending to be totally clueless. She was a good actor…I mean, actress that one.

"I need some 'elp."

I snorted. "I could have told you that." Jack glared at me. "Now, what can we do ya for? Do you need a new sword or do you need help getting those clothes off, I MEAN, those irons off?"

"I'd prefer the clothes but seeing as our situation luv…it will be the irons." Jack winked. "Maybe next time though." He told us both. SWOON!

"Okay then, Jack put your irons on that weird thingy a ma bob and we will spank the ass." Ammie told him.

"Luv…I told ye, not till next time."

"NOT YOURS!" She shouted. "That ass." She pointed over to the donkey and Jack smiled.

"I knew that." He said as he put his irons on the weird thingy.

"Sure you did. Ammie, let's probe him." I told her with the poker in my hand.

"OH NO YE DON'T!" Jack yelled with his eyes wide open.

"You look like an owl." Ammie laughed.

"HOOT HOOT!" I shouted. We fell onto the floor and laughed our asses off.

"LASSES…we don't 'ave much time ye know!"

"Sorry…" I snorted trying to get up. "It's just so funny. Captain Jack Sparrow leader of the owls!"

"KING OWL!" Ammie shouted.

"Can ye just get these irons off me?" Jack asked impatiently BUT with a seductive smile on his face.

"Yeah." I laughed. "Sorry Eeyore the Whore." I muttered before whacking him with the poker. He made the noise and turned the weird mechanism. Jack's chains got caught in the metal and they snapped in half. Jack jumped off and stones he had to stand on and looked around.

"Who's he?" He asked pointing at a drunken idiot in the corner.

"That's…Mr. Brown." Ammie said in her best Igor voice.

"Woah…that was a good one." I told her.

"Thanks…Jack, he won't wake up." Jack ignored her and walked over to the man. He poked him twice and then turned around, he pretended to walk away but then screamed in his face. He didn't wake.

"Wh00t Ams was right!" I yelled.

"Like always." She said.

"Cocky squawker."

"Are ye two lasses from around here?" Jack asked looking around.

"Nope, we are from 'Freek." Ammie told him.

"Freek?" He asked looking at us both.

"Mhmm…you see, Ammie's Greek and I'm French so if you put us together we are…freek."

"I see." Jack nodded. I understand." We rolled our eyes and watched Jack look around.

"Who makes all these?"

"Your about to find out in a minute." I told him as the door began to open. I turned back around and Jack was gone and Ammie was too.

"She disappeared." I said to myself.

"Where's Ammie?"

"I don't know…WHERE FOR ART THOU AMMIE!"

"She is down here." She groaned. I looked over the table to see her sitting on a very happy looking Sparrow.

"Right where I left you." Will smiled looking at his hammer.

"Coo-Coo." I whispered.

"Not where I left you…" Will said looking confused. He looked over and was about to touch Jack's hat when Jack flew up from the floor and whacked Will with his sword.

"You're the one they are hunting…the pirate." Will exclaimed maddened with fierceness.

I laughed manacially. "Aren't you the clever one, William?"

Ammie nodded in agreement, still attracted by the shininess of the beads in Jack's hair. _Jack smirked._

You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?" he asked, still smiling widely.

"Mr. Turner likes to avoid pirates" Ammie muttered to Jack, making herself look psychic or something. Will looked at me with a look of shock. I grinned and shrugged, lying, after all, I was a pirate! wh00t!

Jack motioned for Ammie and Jo to follow but Will stopped him.

"Ammie's right. He LOVES avoiding them." I muttered as I sat down on the teeter-totter thingy. Ammie, however, backed Jack up preparing to use her kick ass TaeKwonDo moves on Will. I looked up just as she brought him to the ground.

"I thought you weren't allowed to beat other home dogs up" I muttered darkly realizing the situation. Jack would now favor Ammie, and how fun that would be... not.

I watched for Ammie's response as she brought Will down to the ground and bent his wrist funny. She finally looked over to me and shrugged.

"Pirate" was her response. However, it was muffled, but I took no notice.

I watched as Jack frown and walked over to Ammie helping her up. I grimaced with disgust.

'The freek stole my man. The freek stole my man.' was all I could think. _Ammie was walking with a limp._

"Jo, love, woul' you mind to help?" asked Jack, "I think she broke her ankle"

"Why I'd love too!" I muttered picking her up and throwing her beside the donkey. "Now, LET'S FIGHT!" Ammie glared at me and I smiled.

"No…I don't need ye getting hurt." Jack said thoughtfully. I smiled and Ammie's jaw dropped open.

"Ok." I sat beside Ammie. "Someone likes me...and it's JACK!" She muttered some curse words.

"You look somewhat familiar have I threatened ye before?"

"I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates." Will hissed glaring at Jack.

"Didn't they just say that?" Ammie asked. I nodded.

"Then it would be a shame for me to put a black mark on your record."

"Ah, then it would be a shame to put a black mark on yer record. So if you'll excuse me." Jack said putting his away his cutlass and walking away from Will. But we all know for Elizabeth, Will doesn't give up so easily. So Will picked up his own sword and pointed it at Jack. "Do ye think this wise boy? Crossing blades with a pirate?"

"Jack's so full of himself." Ammie said.

"I know squawker." I told her. She punched me in the arm and we watched the rest of this fight.

"You threatened Miss Swann."

"GOD! Elizabeth this, Elizabeth that…SHE'S ALWAYS MENTIONED IN THE MOVIE EVEN IF SHE'S NOT IN THE SCENE!" I yelled. Jack and Will ignored me. Ammie patted my back sympathetically.

"Only a little." He said dragging his blade along Wills and then the fight began. If only there was popcorn and two seats, then it would be perfect.

"Wh00t GO JACK!" Ammie and I yelled in unison.

"Why are we cheering for him…he loses." I told her.

"NO HE DOESN'T!"

"Yeah, Mr. Brown makes him unconscious. Remember…"

"Shut up." She pouted looking away from me.

"Ye know what yer doing, Ill give ye that. Excellent form but how's yer footwork? First I step here; very good." Jack said as Will did some fancy footwork. "Now that last step again. Ta." Jack said sheathing his sword and walking to the door. Will got angry and threw his sword at the door and it was inches away from hitting Jack's face. Jack smiled and tried to pull it out but he was very unsuccessful.

"That is a wonderful trick mate, except once again ye are between me and my way out." Jack began to pull out his cutlass. "And now ye have no weapon." Will looked around and I handed him the poker with the hot tip.

"Here ya go Willy." I smiled. Jack looked at the poker and cringed. They began there epic battle again.

"I never get sick of this scene." Ammie smiled.

"Same here."

"Who makes all these?" Jack inquired looking around amazed.

"I do!" Will shouted throwing a sword at Jack. "And I practice with them three hours a day." Will grabbed another sword and jumped off the wooden mechanism.

"Ye need ta find yerself a girl mate." Jack smiled. Suddenly, Will stopped fighting and looked at Jack as he spoke. "Or, maybe the reason you practice three hours a day is that you've already found one and are otherwise incapable of wooing such strumpet." Jack looked down in disgust. "Yer not a eunuch are ye?"

"I practice three hours a day so when I meet a pirate…I can kill it!"

"HARSH WORDS!" Ammie shouted.

"Ah." Jack smiled and move back. Ammie and I looked away for ONE second and already Jack and Will were on the beams fighting. Will hit the sword out of Jacks hand and they both jumped down. Jack landed on the table, opened the sand bag and blinded Will with it as he kicked the sword out of his hand.

Jack took out his pistol and aimed it at Will as Will picked up a sword.

"You cheat."

"Pirate." Jack replied simply. The door was being pounded on and Jack looked at Will. "Move away."

"No."

"Aw, that's mean." I said.

"Please move." Jack said. He didn't sound happy that he had to say please.

"No! I cannot just step aside and let you escape."

"This shot was not meant for you!" Jack hissed cocking his gun.

"Hey Jack." I smiled.

"What lass?"

"Nighty night."

"What?" Jack asked. Jack froze and fell down as Mr. Brown whacked him on the back of the head. The door burst of it's hinges and in walked the Royal Navy.

"Excellent work, Mr. Brown. You've assisted in the capture of a dangerous fugitive." Norrington said staring at Jack.

"Just doing my civic duty, sir." Mr. Brown slurred.

"Haven't you heard of knocking?" Ammie asked rudely.

"You…" Gillette shouted. "And you." He hissed pointing at us.

"US!" I shouted.

"Bring them to the cells as well."

"Aw, damnit." Ammie muttered as she was being cuffed.

"Well, I trust you'll always remember this as the day that Captain Jack Sparrow almost escaped. Take him away."

"I hate you SO much right now." I told Norrington.

"Why would that bother me?" Norrington sniffed walking further ahead of us.

"Ammie…kill him now."

"I would if I could, but I can't. My evil powers are down at the moment."

"Stupid powers."

"Ah…the smallest cell we have." Norrington smirked. "Throw them all in there."

"What!" I said as they shoved us in and locked the doors. "You can't keep us in here with Jack!"

"WE GET URGES MAN! URGES!" Ammie screamed but to our dismay, Norrington ignored us and left us all alone…with Jack Sparrow.

"Damnation and HELL!" I screamed. "What on earth are we going to do now?"

"May I suggest somethin'?"

"Maybe…unless it's, HEY, wait a minute! Aren't you supposed to be unconscious?" Ammie asked.

"Ever heard of faking it?" I asked her.

"That's a good show."

"I know!"

"Luvs! I need attention…" We both looked at Jack and he smiled. "That's better. Now, we can do somethin' that is very fun."

"Like?" I asked.

"Umm, I don't really know. I though ye two would come up with a wacky idea."

"God…well, since we are all pirates here, some better than others." I smiled jokingly at Ammie. "We shall play…tic tac toe!"

"YES! I am the champion at that game."

"Well, than bring it on."

"Tic tac toe?" Jack asked watching us make the boxes.

**Hello my minions. Its J to the O to the S to the I to the E here! Did you like….well, if you didn't then. xP Pfft, who need ya! Ammie says: WE DO! Oh yes, I forgot. Stupid me. Well, review dudes!**

**PIRATES OUT!**

Top of Form


	3. Ducks, Hats, and Braids

_Disclaimer: I don't own PotC… but I do have a clone of Jack! –pats him possessively-_

**Living The Dream- Chapter Three!- Ducks, Hats, & Braids- Ammie's POV**

_Ammie here. I'm tired. Jack loves me. Suck it up. :P! –laughs- Okay, maybe Jo has a better chance, but I can add drama!

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_

After playing nearly four hours of tic tac toe, I had been defeated by the hot pirate beginner, Jack Sparrow. I glared at him. "You're no to supposed to beat her, Jack" Josie explained as I continued to glare at him. However, before Jack could respond I spontaneously hollered,

"Let's play a new game" Josie smiled. I knew she was thinking perverted thoughts. I sat down in the corner, forgetting that I had been wearing a Jack Sparrow shirt and tight jeans. Not a good thing for pirating. Jack must be suspicious. I smirked as I pondered the fact of his reading capabilities. "So, who wants to play duck, duck goose?" I asked happily as I did a Cha-Cha kick. Josie jumped up.

"I'm the DUCKIE!" she screamed. Both Jack and I looked at her with confused grins.

"You mean you want to call who's the duck and goose and sparrow and chicken?" I asked being myself. I used my hands to describe everything like Jack. It was kind of strange when I started to do the chicken dance when I said chicken. Josie nodded spastically and pushed Jack onto the floor, across from Ammie. Together we looked like an egg shaped duckie circle. I felt so proud of Josie's artistic skills. Finally, the game began, and Josie hit Jack on the head first. "Sparrow!" she exclaimed happily. Jack looked at me with a sign that he thought Jo was special.

"Isn't she so ingenious?" I asked. I turned back around signalling to Jo that it was now, Ammie-2 and Jo-1. He he. Josie reluctantly hit me next, "GOOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" I jumped up and ran around the opposite way causing Jo to ram into me.

"YOUR IN THE SPOT!" I hollered. As Jo took her place in the egg shaped circle. I tapped Jack.

"Goose." I muttered lightly in his ear. I ran around the circle, only to find he had done the same thing as me, cheated. Like a pirate! I giggled.

"Bloody Pirate" I noted between fits of laughter.

He smirked, and at the same time as Jo, said, "Thank you very much". Jo smirked at me signalling a tie of two to two. I growled and sat down in the corner, acting as though my ankle was still hurting.

"Ammie, what is wrong with your ankle?" Jo asked me.

"I hurt it." I replied coldly.

"Well no duh!" She yelled throwing her hands up in the air. She turned around and studied Jack.

"Liking the view luv."

"Dude, I was just looking at the bone in your hair. I should call you bam bam."

"Any special reason why?" Jack smirked. Josie looked at him confused but then her eyes went wide.

"PERVERTED PIRATE!" She yelled. I snickered and looked around the hellhole we were going to be in. The floor was covered in dust and hay. There was water, or fluids, that I didn't want to touch. God only knows how they got there. The cells were strong, cause they were made by Will.

"Hey, misses." Someone whispered from behind me.

"Yes."

"How would ye and yer friend like ta be boarded?" He said loudly. I looked at him confused.

"NEVER!" Josie screamed. "YOU SHALL NEVER TOUCH THIS BODY AS LONG AS I HAVE THIS IN MY NOSE!" She said referring to her piercing.

"Fine luv, but take it easy." The pirate looked at Jack. "May God be wif ye as yer in here with them tonight."

"Go bite the weenie." I muttered.

"With relish." Josie said. "I have an idea!" She added turning around and facing Jack.

"What!" I asked nervously. Her ideas always ended up in us getting in trouble.

"Chinese horoscopes."

"You don't know how to do them."

"Yeah I do!" Josie said defensively. "Remember that homeless guy that said my socks were possessed by demons? Well, he taught me how."

"Do you always talk to the homeless?" I asked.

"Hey! They may be poor, smelly and weird but we have one quality in common!"

"Smelly?"

"No! Weird…if they want a smelly friend, I'll tell them about you!" I frowned and Jack snickered.

"Do ye always fight?"

"Nope. Sometimes we do." I answered.

"Back to the horoscopes! Jack, what year were you born?" Jo asked him.

"1685." He replied.

"You were born in the year of the ox! Jack, you're an ox!"

"Ox's are tough lasses." Jack smiled leaning back on the wall.

"You are a born leader."

"Sounds like me." Jack smirked looking at Josie.

"You inspire confidence in others."

"I ain't sure about that."

"You are conservative, methodical and stubborn, and they speak little. Nah, Jack talks a lot." Josie finished.

"Wha' about ye luv?"

"I, sir, am a goat. I got attacked by goats before…AND DEER!"

"You did!" I asked.

"Yep, at African Lion Safari…my dad had to run out carrying me." Josie said drifting off to her memories. "Good times."

"What about me?" I asked.

"You are a goat too!" She laughed.

"When were ye lasses born?" Jack asked.

"1991." Josie smiled.

"Tha' is not possible."

"Not probable. Anything's possible." Josie smiled. Jack grinned at her and then put his head down. Josie held up three fingers and I chuckled. Competitive.

"What about that eunuch?" I asked.

"Oh, Will." Josie said. I laughed. "Well, he's our age 18 so, he was born in…AMMIE! Use your math skills I suck at math."

"Ok, well it's 1720 so 1720 minus 18 is…1702!"

"Ok then he is a horse!"

"A horse? Isn't that what the future Mrs. Jack Sparrow is?"

"Yepers! So dear William is hard working, cheerful, popular, skilful with money and very independent. He can also be egotistical, impatient and hot-blooded."

"Ha, Will is impatient."

"Do ye lasses have a thing for this Dear William?" Jack asked. Did I detect a hint of jealousy?

"Oh yes, we want to bang him." Josie told him winking at me. I played along.

"I already have." Jack looked at us with wide eyes.

"Was he good?"

"Oh hell yes. Best I've ever had."

"I'm a virgin." Josie stated proudly. I was too.

"Want me ta change tha' luv?" Jack whispered in her ear.

"Oh shit son." Josie whimpered. "Not anytime soon but, if I do you will be the first one I call. Savvy?"

"Savvy." Jack smiled and sat back down.

"He came on to you." I whispered to her.

"I know…it was weird, but wonderful." She smiled. I frowned but chuckled.

"Come 'ere doggy." Someone said from behind us.

"Ye can keep doing that forever tha dog is never going to move." Jack muttered. Josie and I looked at him and GOD, he looked sexy! Josie sat down at the cage and stared at the bench just outside that was going to let us escape. Several minutes passed.

I smirked and shifted around in the window pane. I knew what was going to happen next! Yay! I was pumped.

"Hey, Jack?" I asked to foil the silence of the cells.

"Aye, love?" he responded sleepily. God, that was sexy.

"I didn't really shag Will, you know" I muttered.

He smirked that wide, teeth baring grin to me.

"I didn't think so" he muttered.

I glanced over to Josie who was sleeping by the cell's opening.

"Jack, what are you going to do when you get you ship back?" I asked.

"Sail the world freely, that's wha' a ship is you know, love. It's not the keel, the hull, the sails, or the rudders, that's what a ship is. What a ship means, what the Black Pearl really means..." he paused as though to savour the words.

"Is freedom" I muttered, allowing myself to shiver. Whether it was from the sight of Jack looking at me with content or the chilliness of the night, I didn't know.

Jack nodded and signalled for me to come closer to him. I stood up and sleepily swayed towards him. I sat down, looking at him with confusion.

"I'm not going to do anything love" he muttered. I smiled. He was a better man than we gave him credit for.

He put his arm around me and suddenly, I got a lot warmer.

"Jack, you know Kohler and his friend?"

He nodded with confusion.

"Well..." I started, but I was interrupted by the sound of cannon fire. I motioned towards the window.

"Here come the gits now"

Jack raised his eyebrow.

"So, you are really from the future?" he asked.

Josie jumped up and said, "Bloody Brits, stole my cheese"

"Err... Jo?" I asked unsure of myself, "You there?"

She twitched and Jack and I jumped back in defence.

"uhh... Yeah, just a little nightmare, that's all!" Jo said happily.

Jack looked at me with a grin.

"Uhh... Ams?" Jo said with a smile and she pointed towards the speeding cannonball coming towards Jack and I.

"Oh, Shizit!" I hollered and Jack jumped, throwing me to the ground with him. It was a very strange position. He was nearly straddling me.

"Uhh... Jack?" I asked trying to be nice, "Thanks and all, but, you're squashing my boob"

"Oh, sorry, love..." he said as he stood and looked over to the window, and walked towards it.

"You're not going to fit, Captain" said a voice from the other cell, "Rotten Luck"

Jack glared at him in disgust before walking back over to me. I was now sitting on the ground, waving the bone, trying to coax the dog over to us.

"I shall name him... Moony!" I exclaimed happily.

Jack looked at me strangely.

"I thought you wanted to keep your virginity?"

Jo gaped and mouthed, "You always have to win".

I shrugged at Jo, trying to ignore Jack's comment, but Jack took the shrug as a suggestion.

"So you don't then, love?" he questioned.

I looked back at him as the dog ran away at the sound of his comment.

"5, 4, 3, 2..." I started to count the seconds before the under bathed pirates arrived.

Jo, Jack, and I all dived on the floor pretending to be dead as Barbossa's minions entered.

"This ain't the armoury." one said. I sniggered, but Jack took his hand up to my mouth to silence me.

God, even when he was dead, he was hot.

"Good observation." Josie smiled lying on her back and looking at them.

"Who are ye?"

"That is a damn good question!"

"Just answer it or we'll kill you."

"Oh, I'd like to see you try." Josie said standing up and making up weird kung-fo moves. Kohler pulled out his gun and shot Josie except she didn't die.

"Luv, can ye be more careful?" Jack asked lying on top of her.

"Careful? What does that mean?"

"Sparrow...she's yer perfect match. Annoying, mouthy and beautiful." Kohler laughed. Jack smiled.

"AMS! He just called Jack beautiful!"

"HOMO PIRATE!" I chanted. Kohler's eyes went wide and so did Jacks.

"No! When I said beautiful I wasn't talkin' about that godless son-of-a-bitch."

"Sure...homo." I chuckled. Kohler looked around and smirked.

"Jack, yer fortunes 'aven't improved much, 'ave they?" Twiggy smiled.

"Worry about your own fortunes gentlemen." Jack said putting his hands on either side of Josie and lifting himself up just a bit. He was still lying on her but I don't think she minded much. "The deepest circle of hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers." Kohler angrily shoved his hand through the bars and wrapped it around Jack's throat. His hand went from fleshy to a rotten skeletal hand.

"You know nothing of hell." He whispered dangerously.

"Ouch." Josie moaned. Jack's hand was pressed on her stomach.

"So there is a curse, that's interestin'." Kohler through Jack back and growled. They both took of and ran up the stairs.

"Yeah, that's it run...cowards." Josie gasped in pain.

"Sorry luv!" Jack apologized taking his hand off her and rolling beside her.

"JACK! You saved me! Thanks a bunch." She smiled patting him on the shoulder. "I'd hug you but you're sitting down." Jack shot up like a bullet and smiled.

"Hug?" He asked. Josie laughed and gave him a hug. Jack smiled and she let go of him.

"Ammie needs a hug. Go hug her Jack." He looked over at me and hugged me. IT WAS AWESOME!

"So?" Jack asked letting go of me. "What are we going to do now?"

"WAIT FOR DEAR WILLIAM!" Josie announced.

"Ah, your lover boy." Jack growled.

"Let's get this straight bub." Josie began to poke Jack in the stomach. "We don't like Dear William that way."

"Ye both don't?" Jack asked.

"Nope." I smiled.

"Good...then let's go to sleep." Jack smiled falling to the floor.

"Cool...I wanna try that." Josie said standing up and falling again. "OUCH!"

"Luv, yer an idiot."

"Dude, that's what my fifth grade teacher told me."

"SLEEP!" I yelled and laid down on the other side of Jack.

I woke up to Jack cursing and growling in frustration.

"Jack, what on earth are you trying to do?" I asked him. He turned around and glared at me.

"Trying to open it what does it look like?"

"Ooo...touchy." I murmured. He snapped his head back and I heard Will coming down.

"Are you familiar with that ship? The Black Pearl?" Will asked as soon as he came up to the bars.

"You know when you see someone you're supposed to say HELLO first." Josie yelled into the ground. She looked up and her face was smeared with dirt and blood. Jack's face looked the same. I could only imagine what I looked like.

"Hello." He smiled at Josie. "Now answer my question Sparrow."

"Somewhat." Jack answered lying down in the cell.

"Where does it make berth?" Will asked. I snorted.

"Surely you've heard the stories? The Black Pearl sails from the dreaded Isla de Muerta... an island that cannot be found -- except by those who already know where it is." Jack said.

"The ship's real enough. So its anchorage must be a real place. Where is it?"

"Why ask me?"

"Cause you're a pirate!"

"And you want to turn pirate yourself?" Jack sneered.

"Never!" Will growled.

"I WANT TO TURN PIRATE!" Josie yelled. "Wait, I already am one. Ha, silly me." Jack shook his head and turned back to Will.

"They took Miss Swann." Josie and I groaned.

"So it is that you've found a girl!" Jack shouted excitedly and sat up. "Well, if you're intending to brave all and hasten to her rescue and so win fair lady's heart, you'll have to do it alone. I see no profit in it for me."

"I can get you out of here." Will smirked.

"How's that? They keys have run off." Jack asked in confusion.

"These are half-pin barrel hinges. With the right leverage and proper application of strength..." Will picked up a bench and wedged it into the bars. "They door will lift free."

"Your name is Turner." Jack suddenly said.

"Yes." Will said surprised. "Will Turner."

"I know that. These lovely lasses talk about you non stop." Will looked at us and we smiled innocently. Josie used sign language to tell him Jack was nuts and he chuckled. Jack spun around and Jo smiled at him sweetly.

"Well," Jack began standing up. "I've changed my mind. You spring me from this cell, and on pain of death, I'll you to the Black Pearl. Do we have an accord?" Jack finished. Will looked at him suspiciously before agreeing.

"Agreed." Will said softly.

"Agreed!" Jack shouted. "Now, get us out of here."

"BOAT TRIP TIME!" Jo and I yelled.

"What makes ye lasses think yer coming?" Jack asked.

"Dude! We know we are coming." I told him.

"If you don't let us...I will castrate you." Josie smiled. Jack's eyes went wide.

"Fine...but stay away from...well, Jack junior. Unless..."

"I'LL STAY AWAY FROM IT!" Jo yelled. We all laughed and Will opened the cell.

"Let's go, someone would have heard that."

"Not without his affects." I said.

"Exactly." Jack said running over to them and picking them up.

"Can I wear your hat Jack?" Josie asked sweetly. Jack looked at Josie and then at the hat. He thought it over for a minute and then smiled.

"Sure luv." He handed her the hat and she plopped it on her head.

"Josie, go!" I yelled pushing her up the stairs.

"Hey, ye don't boss the pirate around mate." She smiled in a surprisingly, VERY, good pirate voice.

"Woah, you're getting better."

"Thanks mate."

…o0o…

"This girl...how far are ye willin' ta go fer her?" Jack asked Will.

"I'd die for her." Will yelled.

"Oh good, no worries then." Jack smiled.

"LOOKIE! A canoe...let's use that as an escape." I announced.

"Brilliant idea luv." Jack smiled. We crept over to the canoe and went under it.

"Can we move now?" I asked.

"No lass." Jack growled.

"Knees are cramping up." Josie frowned.

"Now." Jack whispered. We went into the ocean and Josie shouted.

"COLD!"

"LUV! QUIET!" Jack yelled.

"Speak for yerself." She muttered in her pirate voice. We climbed up the side of the ship and Jo and I were the fastest. Years of climbing fences in hide and seek come in handy.

"Took ye long enough." Josie smirked as Will and Jack emerged.

"Shut up." Jack groaned. He ran over to the stairs.

"Everyone stay come we are taking over this ship!" Gillette and his cronies turned around and faced us.

"Aye! Avast." Everyone laughed.

"What a nerdo." I muttered to Josie. She nodded.

"This ship cannot be crewed by two men and two ladies. You'll never make it out of the bay."

"Firstly, I am no lady." Josie smiled from beside Jack. "And secondly, ye forgot one very important thing luv, he is Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack nodded and cocked his gun. I walked up to Gillette and whispered something in his ear. His eyes grew wide and he jumped off the ship.

I giggled.

"Never knew telling a gay man that I would castrate him would be so effective"

Josie looked at me and burst into laughter.

I looked up at Jack, "So, we're switching ships, eh?"

He looked at me shocked.

"How does she do tha'?" he asked Jo. She shrugged with pleasure.

"Hey, Jack, shouldn't we disable the rudder chains?"

He nodded and started to do so.

I assisted, leaving Jo along with the love struck puppy.

"So, Jack, later, will you do my hair like yours?" I spastically asked.

"Tha' would be sexy, love" he noted as he disabled the las' chain.

"Tha' it woul'" I muttered.

He smirked.

"So you like my hair, eh?"

I blushed at a alarming rate. Thank Bootstrap though, Josie called Jack and I over.

"Here comes the Interceptor!" she yelled. I busted out in laughter.

"What, Squacker?" Jo asked.

"It's a crappy name for a ship, and tha's a crappy nickname for me"

Will shrugged.

"Not half as bad as 'eunuch'"

"A rather good point made by Mr. Turner" noted Jack as he signalled for us to follow him in swinging onto the other ship, leaving the lobsters behind.

"STUPID BLOODY LOBSTERS!" Jo and I shouted at the same time as we landed on the Interceptor and watched the men chop off the ropes.

Jack smirked.

"Lobsters?"

"Yes, my good man LOBSTERS!" Jo yelled.  
"We make up weird nicknames."

"I can see that." Jack said.

"Mine for you Jack is...Sir DrinksAlot." Jo smiled.

"That's perfect!" I praised.

"I don't drink tha' much."

"Wait until we hit the island." Jo whispered a bit loudly.

"What island?" Jack asked.

"No island." I said quickly.

"The island full of rum." Jo smiled thinking of all that rum. She loves her rum as much as Jack does.

"WHAT?" Jack smiled.

"Yep, but sadly...it will be burned." Josie whimpered.

"Why is the rum gone?"

"You shall find out soon enough young squier." I muttered.

"Miss Ammie...could you help me for a moment?" Will asked.

"Sure." I smiled. I dreaded leaving Jack and Jo alone but, eh, what the hell could happen?

"I need you to help me cut off the ropes and fix the sails. It won't take long."

"Of course, Will." I got to work and luckily, I could hear everything Jack and Josie were saying.

"So, when I got out of the 'horde of the evil teachers' I went right up the man we call 'principal' and poured a very sticky substance all over his lap. I got another detention for that...oh, and detention is when you have to stay in an evil room doing nothing but, I escaped under the watchful eyes of Mrs. EatsAlot Enskitas." Jo smiled. "She ran after me but I dropped a banana peel and she fell in front of all my friends and they laughed at her."

"Yer a troublemaker aren't ye?" Jack smirked looking Josie up and down. She turned around and faced him.

"Hell yes. Life is no fun if you act good all the time."

"That's what I think. Ye know, when a lass makes trouble that is very sexy ta me." He walked over to Josie and draped his hand over her waist.

"You know what's sexy to me?"

"What luv?" Jack whispered in her ear.

"Things that are shiny...and your HAT!" She smiled shifting it to the side.

"Ye know, I usually don't let anyone touch me hat but yer the one and only...savvy?"

"Not even Ammie!" She asked happily. 'I'm gonna kill her' I thought.

"Nope, I'm going ta braid her hair. She gets the braids and ye get tha hat."

"AYE, AYE!"

"It looks incredible on ye." Jack stated looking at her.

"Likewise." She smiled. "NOW! What was the worse thing ye have done?" She added.

"This." He replied stroking the ships wheel. "Stealing a ship, having the navy after me, threatening that Swann girl."

"Oh. I once put laxatives in my cousin's cookies and locked the bathroom door." Jack looked at her confused.

"Oh, laxatives are a liquid that makes you go crap and you can't hold it in. He crapped his pants...good times." Jack grinned.

"I'm starting ta like ye and yer troublemakin' ways." I frowned. "And Ammie is spectacular...lovely lass, sharp tongue."

"Well, I'll say thank you from both of us." She said with her hands flying about. Crazy Italian loser, her hands were always moving and not purposely.

"Now, we are almost to Tortuga."

"YES! HIGH HO SILVER!" Josie yelled galloping around Jack.

"Lass! Calm yerself."

"I can't...I WANT RUM!"

"Ye like rum?"

"HELL YES! I had some when I was ten and I couldn't stop thinking about it."

"When ye were ten? Yer parents let ye?"

"Well, not exactly." Jack laughed.

"I'll buy ye one...savvy?"

"SAVVY!" Josie looked up and waved. "AMMIE! HOWS THE VIEW?"

"Kick ass!" I replied and climbed down the netting.

"I want carbon based beverage." Jo frowned.

"Oh yeah, well I want a educational book to read." We looked at each other and screamed. Josie fell to the floor and sobbed. Jack and Will came over alarmed.

"What? What happened? Who got shot, who's dead?" Jack screamed. I hit him.

"Get a hold of yourself man!"

"Ammie, we need sugar." Jo cried.

"I know." I said starting to cry myself.

"Hold me." Jo sobbed. I hugged her and so did Will.

"Thanks dudes."

"Ye need sugar? There is plenty downstairs!" Jack said. Josie looked up at him and pushed me and Will aside.

"SUGAR!" She yelled.

"I am coming for you and your succulent taste." I shouted running after her.

"What 'ave we gotten ourselves into?" Jack asked.

Down below, the search for sugar began.

"JACK!" I called as Jo continued searching. I was lazy, what could I say, I need some Jack time.

"Aye, love?" he asked as he climbed down the stairs in panic.

"Where's the sugar?" I asked innocently as I sat down on a rum barrel. I loved rum, so I patted it with content. "My precious" I whispered.

"It's in the galley. And since when do you like rum?" he said with shock in his voice. What did he think I was- proper? The mere thought of that word made me shudder.

"Since forever, where'd you think Josie and I stole it from, Norrington?" I exaggerated happily.

Jack chuckled.

"Where'd you steal it, love?" he asked.

I smiled.  
"We borrowed it from my parent's stash. My Dad was an alcoholic before he died so yeah..."

Josie stormed into the room.

"SUGAR!" she shouted.

I ran towards it and stuffed a handful in my mouth.

"Yum."

Jack looked at us awkwardly. Apparently, sugar eating of these sorts was not customary. I giggled.

"Want some, Jack?" I asked.

He reluctantly shook his head.

I shrugged, "More fer me".

Jo looked at Jack and stood up. I did the same.

"Hey Jack, will you braid my hair now?" I pestered trying to annoy Jo.

"I wanna watch!" Jo shouted. I groaned, my plan had back fired.

"Alright luv, but we hafta hurry." Jack said pulling my hair.

"OUCH!" I grimaced.

"You pulled her hair man!" Jo mumbled. Her head was in the bag of sugar and she was downing it like rum.

"Sorry luv." Jack said as I moaned in pain.

"It's ok...just braid." He smiled and began to braid my hair and may I add he did it very fast.

"You need hair like mine, Ams." Jo said taking her head out of the bag. Her hair was covered in grains of sugar. She shook her hair and they fell out.

"Why?" I asked.

"Cause, when people pull my hair, it doesn't hurt."

"Tha' is a lie." Jack said.

"It's not." I said. "I tried to pull her hair really hard once, and some of it came out but it didn't hurt." Jack looked at Jo like she was some kind of super hero.

"Call me superwoman." She smiled. Dude, it was like she was reading my mind. "OR! Call me...Captain Duckula."

"I think I'll call ye...Jo." Jack purred.

"I WANNA BE CALLED AMS OR AMMIE!"

"I think I'll call ye Ammie."

"Goodie." I smiled.

"JACK!" Will yelled. "We are there."

"Sorry lass. Yer going to have to go out like that." I looked into a rum bottle and groaned. Half of my hair was braided and the other half was down. Josie looked over at me and began to laugh.

"Jo, gimme that hat." I said. She put her hands on it protectively.

"Jack said only I get to wear it so...BOOGERS!" She yelled happily. I turned and looked at Jack.

"Sorry lass." He walked up on deck and I frowned. Josie threw her arm around me and walked me up on deck.

"Think of it this way...you are making a fashion statement." I smiled.

"Thanks. And watch tha' hat. It'll take only one opportune momen' fer me to get it."

* * *

Thanks for reviewing, mates. Jack says thank you from the… ooh Jo's not supposed to know tha'. I say thanks. –coughcough- Well, REVIEW!

Ams out!


	4. Rum, Drunkness, and Fights!

**Disclaimer: Maybe I do own Pirates, maybe I am Walt Disney, and maybe I am Jack Sparrow's strumpet. DAMMIT, I wish I was.**

Living The Dream- Chapter Four- Rum, Getting Drunk and Fights- Jo's POV

**Jo is in the house! I am so hyper right now. Jack, loves me, see Ammie admitted it. Pfft, Ams has a better chance. I am WAYY to weird.**

A/N: Ams and I are SO happy that we got lot's of reviews. Thank you all and here's the next chappie.

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"Ha, the day you get this hat is the day Portugal wins the world cup." I said covering the hat with my hands.

"Are ye coming?" Jack asked walking past us.

"No, we are going to wait here and let some man take advantage of us...of course we are coming." Ammie said sarcastically.

"Dumbass." I muttered. Ammie and I walked ahead of them.

"They have sharp tongues." Will told Jack.

"Damn straight!" I yelled happily.

"Ahh...Tortuga." Ammie smiled looking around. I could hear singing about the lights, the pulse, and the beat. Stupid Broadway singer. A drunk man reached toward both Ammie and I. I lunged at him.

"Touch me, you eat sand" I hissed. Ammie looked over to me in fear.

"Tha' was a good threat" she muttered so the man could hear.

"It was a promise". Ammie nodded and nearly too happily ran over to where Jack was.

"Howdy, Captain", She hollered. Jack smirked.

"At least she can get the title right." He complained to Will. I walked in between Will and Jack and looked around confused.

"Captain? I see no Captain." Jack frowned.

"Saucy tart." He grabbed a bucket, filled it with water, and thrust it into my hands. "Here. Ye'll need this."

"OH GOODIE! Let's go wake up piggy man!"

"Piggy man!" Ammie asked. "You make up the worst nicknames."

"Shut up...squawker." I said sticking my tongue out at her. We walked for what seemed like ages until we finally came close. I KNEW that because I could hear the pigs oinking.

"Oink oink." I smiled lifting the bridge of my nose up. I snorted.

"Lass. Tell me tha' truth. Were ye dropped at birth."

"As a matter of fact, I was!" I smiled proudly. I knocked on my head and the sound made the impression that my head was hollow. Ammie rolled her eyes pointedly.

"And you're trusting her with your hat and your crew gatherin' dude!" She exclaimed. Jack looked at me in a strange way.

"How do you know all this stuff?" He asked Ammie. She smirked in a way similar to his.

"We think in very similar ways, Captain Sparrow, now be careful, the whores may soon come and attack" I smiled and pointed at Scarlet.

"Speaking of the prostitute."

"Scarlet." Jack exclaimed swaying over to her. There was a loud whack and Jack's head spun back.

"Not sure I deserved tha'." He whimpered.

"Jack, here comes round 2. Just please, I know it's difficult but don't SAY anything...stupid." I told Jack. Jack looked at Ammie.

"Aren't ye supposed ta say tha'?"

"Meh. She knows little bits of what may occur." Ammie shrugged.

"Giselle."

"Who was she?" Giselle said haughtily.

"What?" Another loud whack followed Jack's head spinning backwards.

"Twas the attack of the mother ship of whores." I said laughing at Jack.

"Ha, I'm amazed they didn't..." Ammie snorted. "…probe Jack." Ammie laughed as she pointed at Jack.

"Ye two, I don't know why I agreed ta let ye come." Jack sighed. "Here, this way."

"This is like James Bond." Ammie smiled pretending to make a gun with her hands. I sang the theme song as she ran ahead.

"See Jack, she's nuts too."

"Aye. But, ye are...crazy." Jack smiled.

"If you are trying to get me back for pissing you off...it ain't gonna work." I gave him a matter-o'-fact smile.

"Well, I try 'arder next time then, eh?" Jack said facing me.

"You can try." I smiled. I huffed and walked away. "It won't work though." Ha! Ew, I'm playing hard to get. ACK!

"Lass, give me tha' bucket."

"She already threw the water at him." Ammie said pointing at Gibbs.

"Dang blast! Ye slacked jawed idiot I'll...Jack?" Gibbs smiled at Jack. "Tis bad luck ta wake a man when he's sleepin'."

"Well, fortunately I know how ta counter it. The man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping listens to a proposition from the man who did the waking." Gibbs looked at Jack in a very confused manner.

"God, you listen to him as he buys you a drink!" Ammie yelled angrily.

"Good job, Ams." I smiled giving her a high five. "HEY! Wait a minute, I am the one who woke him up. So, I deserve bloody rum too!"

"Nah, ye don't."

"You owe us both one." Ammie smirked. Jack looked at us and frowned.

"Fine, get yer arse going then." Jack yelled angrily.

"What an ass." Ammie and I muttered. We walked away without them and soon we were lost.

"Ams, I don't think we are in Kansas anymore."

"Thanks for telling me that, Toto." We were all alone and in the worst place possible. Tortuga.

"This is your fault, I said 'Let's ask that man where to go' But, nooo, we had to keep walking." Ammie yelled angrily.

"DUDE, that man had his sword out and he was fighting a damn statue! If he was going to direct us in any direction it would either be to HIS room or to DEATH!" I yelled spastically with my hands flying everywhere. "I have an idea, one time when I got lost at Wonderland they paged the park. Let's..."

"This is the 1700's do you think they have that technology?" Ammie seethed.

"Oh...I forgot." Ammie shrugged.

"I miss my movie" she whined. I nodded as if in agreement.

"But we get rum" I argued.

"A valuable point." Ammie muttered as she entered the tavern. The Faithful Bride. How ironic for pirates.

"JACK! I want my RUM man!" I called happily as she sat down at Jack's table. Ammie laughed and sat with me.

"ME TOO!" she hollered. The noise in the Tavern faded for a moment and I laughed maniacally. A bar maid was frightened and quickly (though reluctanty) gave the us our drinks. She also gave Gibbs and Jack theirs as we sat down with them. Ammie laughed at Will.

"He's under loved" She whispered to me. I nodded and took a long drink of rum. Ammie did the same. However, alcohol had a bigger effect on Ammie than it did on me. She jumped on the table, and began to sing and dance:

"Ho! Ho! Ho! To the bottle I go,  
To heal my heart and drown my woe.  
Rain may fall and wind may blow,  
And many miles be still to go  
But under a tall tree I will lie,  
And let the clouds go sailing by!"

Jack looked at Ammie in shock. "Since when do you do tha'?" he asked. Ammie looked at her half braided hair and shrugged.

"Since always, I tend to get spazzy around alcohol." I giggled at her.

"I like hobbits." I muttered, "But, Aragorn is dead sexy, but hobbits kick ass."

"What are hobbits, Ammie?" asked Jack, afraid of me.

"They are like munchkins and midgets! But BETTER!" she shouted, "Though, not better than you." She was confusing herself.

"Listen Jack, to make it simpler, do you know a little guy named Marty?" I asked leaning onto Jack for support.

"Aye." Jack said snaking his arm around my waist. I paid no never mind to it.

"Well, midgets are those guys. Cute little buggers." Ammie smiled.

"WILLY!" I screamed. He looked over at me and smiled.

"Yes Miss. Borsellino." He asked walking over to me.

"Dammit man, you are too formal. Call me Jo."

"I'd rather not."

"If you value life and limb you will dammit!" I shouted.

"Do not cross paths with her dude." Ammie said staring at Jack's hand which was currently around my waist. Jack smiled and snaked his arm around her's as well. That shut her up.

"Ams, I'm bored let's go weird."

"Nope. I wanna stay here."

"Ammie..." Suddenly, Jack took my rum and chugged it.

"Thanks lass." Jack smiled.

"No rum and no weirdness make Jo go something...something..." I whispered angrily.

"Crazy?" Ammie asked.

"DONT MIND IF I DO!" I shouted and ran out of the tavern. "WHHHHOOOOOTTT! BE BACK LATER ALLIGATORS!"

"Lass. Get back 'ere. Ye don't know what some crazy fool will do to ye." Jack groaned running after me.

"I'll come...if you can catch me." I said running.

"Yer on." Jack growled. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Jack catching up to me. I spun around the corner and bumped into someone.

"Watch where yer goin' ye bloody whore." The man said slapping me. My head spun back and I glared at the man. The ring on his finger had made a gash on my cheek. Jack came around and looked at the man and then at me.

"Why did ye do ta her?" Jack asked, frowning as he saw the big gash. It went from my chin to a little bit under my eye.

"The bloody whore ran into me."

"Firstly, you arrogant ass, I am no whore." I said poking him in the chest. "And secondly, don't ever slap me again." I turned around, trying to walk away but Jack grabbed my hand.

"Not so fast." He traced the cut with his fingers and sighed. "Yer alright."

"She's lucky cause if I ever see her again I'll slap 'er so 'ard she won't be able ta mouth off ta me again."

"BRING IT ON OLD FART!" I yelled. "Ima gangsta so I can kick yo ass fool. YO i'm on tha floor doin tha grinder. So yell it HO HO HO YOOOOOO." I screamed and made up some weird kung-fo moves. The bastard hit me. I hissed in pain and tried as hard as I could to hold back the tears that were gonna pour out.

"Tha is it fool. Yo gonna learn tha meanin' of pain bitch." I said kicking him in the gut. Jack just sat there, watching in amusement that is, until I got backhanded.

"Enough." Jack growled holding his cutlass to the guy's throat. That was fast.

"Geez Sparrow."

"No one, no one, hits a lass in my prescence, even if she is a bit crazy...savvy?" Jack asked.

"Savvy." The man gasped and ran away as Jack put his sword away.

"Stop hatin', start participatin'. Come on, twinkle twinkle, baby, twinkle twinkle. Wanna take a shot at me kid? Do it." I said. The guy turned around and looked at me. I gulped. "I'm just sayin' if that's what this is gonna be, it's gonna be that." The guy huffed, and walked away.

"Ye ok?"

"Huh, oh yeah, never been better." I said sarcastically.

"Come on ye tough lass. I'll clean ye up."

"It hurts like a bitch." I laughed as a few tears escaped my eyes. It really did hurt. I've gotten into other fights but not with UGLY MEN!

"Ye got ta watch yer sharp tongue." Jack scolded.

"You, sir, sound like my ma." I told him.

"What happened to her?"

"She is back in the land of fangirls."

"Ah. The future."

"So, you finally believe us?" I teased. "Took you long enough, you codfish."

"Aye, Ammie told me and unlike ye, I can believe her."

"Ha! I may be weird and crazy but I'll tell you one thing...I'm a nut job and insecure."

"A tough lass like ye? I don't believe ye." Jack scoffed sarcastically.

"No, honestly." I whispered. "In school, I wasn't the best looking and when you hear that from kids...it's not exactly wonderful."

"Well, if it means anything, I think yer beautiful." I smiled.

"IT MEANS A LOT!" Jack looked at me with a big smirk on his face. "I mean, that's cool bitch."

"Come on, in the tavern we go." He said leading my over to the table.

:x:x:MCR:x:x:

"...yep. And then one time, I chased a squirrel and ended up running into a pole." Ammie said. She picked up her mug and began drinking it.

"There's Jack." Will muttered. Ammie looked up and spit her rum out.

"JESUS! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" Ammie asked, and amazingly, she sounded concerned. Concerned a word meaning: worried about someone. Which Ammie rarely was.

"She got in a fight with a large man." Jack said asking the bar maid for some rum and a rag.

"Yo Ams, that fool was trippin'." I said angrily.

"Oh God, here we go with the gangsta talk."

"I'm from da ghetto. Expect it and accept it."

"You should give some respect to older people." Will said.

"I don't give respect."

"Mad respect for not giving respect. I feel dat." I said giving Ammie props.

"That's a nasty gash." Will said running his finger across it.

"True dat."

"Here you are Jack." The bar maid giggled.

"Thank ye lass." Jack said giving her bottom a squeeze.

"Playa." I muttered. "OUCH!" I yelled as Jack applied the rum to my cut.

"Do ye want yer pretty face ta get infected?" Jack asked.

"No." I smiled. "Thanks Jack, for everything."

"Can someone explain?" Ammie asked looking at me and Jack. I explained it all again and added how I told Jack about my insecurity.

"Oh." Ammie said softly. "Kids can be so cruel."

"True dat mah sista." I hissed as Jack dabbed the cut.

"There we go." Jack smiled admiring his work.

"Oh...he's good." Ams said looking at my pink cut.

"It still hurts, and now my head does!" I groaned. HANGOVER ALREADY!

"Let's go sleep somewhere." Will said helping me up.

"Thanks Willy. You are a good mofo."

"Um..."

"Take it as a compliment." Ammie told him.

"Listen ta her bro."

"I got us a room wif two beds." Jack said. "But, to be on the safe side I think each man should sleep wif a woman."

"No." Ammie and I said in unison.

"I am not sleeping wif a man lasses."

"I am not sleeping with a man misses." Will said politely.

"Well, one of us has the floor."

:x:x:MCR:x:x:

Don't ask HOW it happened and don't ask WHY it happened. Will had a bed to himself and Jack was sharing with us both.

"Jack, we can't fit!" Ammie yelled.

"It appears that yer right. Someone has to get off."

"I CALL THE BED!" I shouted spastically.

"Fine." Ammie whispered crawling on the floor with tears in her eyes. I rolled my eyes...drama queen.

"Lass, why are ye crying?" Jack asked Ammie.

"Aw, Peter Pan moment." I smiled watching them.

"I'm not..." Ammie sniffed.

"There is room for three." Jack stated pulling her up.

"Ammie, we need to talk." I grinned pulling her off the bed and we walked down the hallway.

"Why the shit were you crying biznatch?" I asked her.

"Just...kinda missing the future."

"Oh...I feel dat. Don't worry, somehow, we will get back there." I smiled trying to cheer her up. "Hmmm...nice door." I added opening it. I immediately regretted that decision. There was the bastard who hit me with a whore...GETTING THERE FREAK ON!

"MY EYES!" I screeched.

"Oh God...MY EARS!" Ammie yelled running down the hall. I ran in the room and slammed the door shut.

"EYES...I am scarred for life bitches. Damn, those fools were like tha friking energizer bunnies." I whispered. "Oh...I think I'm gonna be sick."

"Wha' happened?" Jack asked Ammie.

"Walked...in...having...sex." Ammie muttered rocking back in forth on the bed.

"Lass..." Jack laughed looking at me trying to puke. "Haven't ye had sex before?" I gagged.

"PROUD VIRGIN RIGHT HERE!" Ammie and I yelled.

"Ye know...Dear Will and I could change that." Will, Ammie and I stared at Jack in disgust.

"Ok, touch us and die." Ammie stated glaring at Jack.

"I won't go near you ladies." Will said.

"Go Will." I smiled. Jack frowned and flopped down on the bed. We stared at him until he spoke.

"Fine then, git on tha bed and sleep lasses." He said angrily.

"Oh, someone has PMS!" Ammie yelled infuriated. She got up and jumped down on the bed causing Jack to move near the edge.

"Mhmm, ok, fine be angry at us because WE WON'T SLEEP WITH YOU!" I yelled jumping on the bed and pushing Jack off.

Ammie glared at Josie. "Tha' wasn't very nice" she quoted. Jack glared at us as he climbed on the bed again. I laughed evilly. I rolled over and faced Ammie.

"Why the shit are you sticking up for him?" I asked. She looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

"He is Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Aye, tha' I am." Jack said smiling. I groaned.

"Well, ya don't hafta go evil on me man." I said.

"You were mean to Jack."

"You were mean to me!"

"So..." She hissed. I got of the bed and stared at her.

"Dear Ammie..." I said. "You are a bitch. Love Jo."

"Yer a strange lass." Jack chuckled.

"Damn straight!" I screamed furiously and walked out the door. I opened it once more, huffed, and slammed it.

"Stupid Jack, stupid Ammie...only nice one is Will." I muttered to myself. I walked down the stairs and into the pub. "Tha' wasn't very nice...WELL HE WASN'T VERY NICE!"

"Are ye alright lass?" Someone said from behind. I spun around and looked at the man. He was wearing a big black hat, and pretty much the same outfit as Jack. But, he had the most mesmerizing eyes. One was blue and one was green. His black hair fell out from underneath his hat; it was like Gerard Way's hair. Mmm…Gerard. He also had a wonderful smile.

"I've been better." I groaned still looking him in the eye. He chuckled.

"Would you like ta tell me about it?" He asked. "I'll buy ye a rum."

"Sure." I nodded. He pulled me towards a table and sat down.

"So, what happened?" He asked smiling. A bar maid came over and he ordered two rums.

"Ok, firstly, ever since I got here it's been...weird! I got sucked in a t.v, got thrown in jail, got beat up by a man, saw two people having sex..." I shuddered. "...and to top it all off, I got the almighty Captain Jack Sparrow furious with me." I said a bit sarcastically. 'Almight Captain Jack Sparrow? Pfft...I think Captain Hook, Captain Morgan and Captain Underpants are more almighty then him.

"Jack Sparrow?" He laughed. "He ain't one ta be fighting wif." The bar maid brought us our drinks and I downed it.

"Um, another." He said.

"I have been fighting and arguing with him for quite some time..."

: Meanwhile :

"God, who's the bitch? I not a bitch!" Ammie shouted as she sat up in the bed. She glared at the table lamp. "Mr. Lampy, save me now" Ammie muttered. Jack chuckled nervously. Will glared at her and Jack.

"Let's go find where she went, we don't want her killed by a whore" He said in defense of Jo. Ammie laughed crazily and Jack frowned.

Everyone sat at a stand still for a few moments. Finally Ammie burst out. "LET'S GO SPY!" Jack sniggered and nodded.

"Good idea love"

All three, though Will rather reluctantly, walked out of the room and peeked their head around to see if Jo was there.

Meanwhile...

"You know what dude...you are a good listener." I slurred.

"Why thank ye." The man, named Jose, laughed. "I think ye have had enough."

"Unlike Jack Sparrow sir, I know when to say no." I grabbed another rum and began drinking.

"No more fer her." Jose said to the bar maid in a hushed voice. She nodded.

"But, why is it that I can't be mean to Jack?" I shouted.

"Because he IS Jack Sparrow."

"God, the way you people talk about him...you act as if he is a GOD!"

"Ye really don't like 'im do ya?" Jose asked.

"Dude, don't get me wrong. Jack is sex on legs but...he is also arrogant."

: Meanwhile:

Ammie looked over to Jack in pity. They had heard most of the conversation Jo was holding. "See..." She boasted happily. Will stuck his head in front of Ammie's.

"She's drunk, Jack" Ammie shrugged and walked out to where I was standing. She tapped me on the shoulder.

"C'mon!" I shot her a malicious look. Jack frowned and followed Ammie's lead.

"Who are you?" he threatened the man sitting next to me. Ammie signaled for him to stop.

"Jack... let Jo have a life..."

"Who are ye?" Jack asked ignoring Ammie.

"Jose Santo's. I am the first mate on the Hells Fire." He said in a Spanish accent.

"And he is also...a good man." I hiccupped.

"Lass, come on." Jack said trying pull me up. I didn't argue.

"Too lazy." Jack sighed and pulled me out of the chair. We walked away and I almost fell so Jack, reluctantly, picked me up. I waved good bye to Jose.

"Byes."

"G'bye Jo." Jack walked up the stairs, into the room and dropped me on the bed.

"Yes, just drop me hard on the bed like that."

"We were worried?" Ammie said in an unsure tone.

"I bet you were...fool."

"Can we finally get some sleep?" Will asked lying on the bed.

"Sleep is good." Ammie said.

"Sleep is cool and cool is good and good is...good." I said lying down on the bed.

"Night nerdo." Ammie whispered. "Night Cap'n...night Will."

"G'night lass."

"Goodnight Miss Ammie."

"Oh God, now I have to say goodnight." I huffed. "G'night bitch, G'night Jackie poo and G'night Willy."

"Night." They all said. Jack and Ammie had a hint of anger in their voices but I didn't care. I closed my eyes and let the darkness take over me.

**:x:x:MCR:x:x:**

**HOWDY! Tis Jo….whoa, I am hyper today! Anywhoooo…aren't I mean? Muhahahaha…cough! Shizah. As you can tell I LOVE My Chemical Romance. GERARD WAY IS BANGABLE!**

**Jack: Revi…**

**Ammie: Review savvy?**

**Jack: (gasps)**

**Me: (gasps and knocks herself out)**


	5. Ze Mad Crew

_Disclaimer: Ams wants him, I want him…Disney's got em! GAYYY MAN! Unless he liked Minnie. Tis a possibility._

_Chapter 5 – Tortuga; Part two: Ze crew – Ammie's P.O.V –_

_A/N: Hooowddyy ho. Jo here because, sadly Ammie's grandma passed away this weekend. Everyone says a prayer. It would be much appreciated. Secondly: WE LOVE YA REVIEWERS! Guess what guys! I got initiated. They wrote Minor Niner on my head. Ha, I got them back gooood though. _

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I awoke the next morning with a cramp in my neck. "Bloody rum gods!" I shouted, "Sleeping can give you such a crick in the neck!" Jo looked at me in a frightened way. 

"Thy have thee Aladdin moment" she declared. I simpered at Jack and whispered to him loudly

."First gangster, now Shakespeare, what's she going to go to next, French!" Jack laughed playfully.

"Oui." He stated, standing up and moving out of the bed. I laughed evilly at Jo's confusable look.

"Tu es parle en francois avec moi?" I asked. Jo jumped up, landing on her feet.

"Thy do not know French... though... thee stated parley"! Will, making his way back into the story, woke with Jo's loud screaming. "WILLY!"

"Il et elle stupide" stated Jack, sitting down on a table. I smirked wildly.

"Ok, I know what STUPIDE means! My French teacher called me that once." She screamed in Wills ear. He jumped up.

"Oui, et je n'aime pas emphatique Brits"

"What are thee talking about?" Jo asked in confusion.

"Never mind my dumb and mental friend."

"So Jackie, Jackster...Jacko, where too?" Jo asked.

"We hafta find Gibbs luv."

"Oy, then we must leave and find thee plump man." Jack turned and looked at me in a scared manner.

"You know, when she gets this hyper, I tend to ignore her." I sighed.

"Jack, is it a good idea to let Gibbs find the crew?" Will asked stretching. He looked hot at that moment. GAH! Must get those thoughts out of my head.

"I will do tha fine captain." Said the voice from none other than, Joshamee Gibbs, from the doorway.

"I SO wanna help thee find thy crew for Jack-ith." Jo said in her Shakespearean voice.

"No." Gibbs said looking at Josie like she was a lunatic.

"She gets that look a lot." I stated.

"JACK!" She whined. "I wanna goooooo!"

"If it is tha important ta ye then go."

"Thank you Jackith." She said running over to Gibbs. "Let's go old manith." Gibbs sighed, laughed and walked away with Jo. Good, this gave me and Jack some 'alone time.'

"Let's go young Will." Jack smiled walking out the doorway with Will.

"DAMMIT!" I thought. I blinked, and followed Jack, smirking. "I'm coming!" I called, an evil glint in my eyes. "Where are we going?"

"Ta find some supplies." Jack stated, he looked at me and his eyes roamed my body. "And ta find ye and Jo some better clothes. Not tha I have a problem with ye both dressing like tha." Jack smiled seductively.

"Flirt." I laughed.

"Miss Ammie. May I ask where you are REALLY from?" Will asked.

"Sure thing. Jo and I are from the future." Will stared at me in disbelief.

"Really?"

"Yesiree." I smiled twirling around like a ballerina.

"Somehow it's hard to believe." I glared at Will.

"Aye." Jack nodded agreeing with Will. I gawked at him.

"You believed us before!" I shouted with my hands flying about.

"Nah, I didn't." Jack smiled. We walked into a shop with all sorts of hats, breeches, shirts, boots and other things.

"Liar."

"Pirate." He smirked and walked away to find some things for Jo and I.

**Meanwhile...**

"How about thy?" Jo asked pointing to a drunken man.

"For tha last time...NO DRUNKS!" Gibbs shouted.

"Well, if thee does not want...god, I hate speaking Shakespearean. Anywho, if you don't want any drunks then we will have no BLOODY CREW!" Jo yelled. He opened his mouth to say something. Jo raised her eyebrow in amusement. He closed his mouth and nodded.

"Aye, it apparels yer right." He said. "But, not tha drunk."

"What about...HIM!" Jo shouted running over to, none other than, Marty the midget.

"What about me?" He asked staring at Jo.

"Would you like to be on our crew mini man...can I call you mini man?"

"Yes, you can." He smiled. "Who be the captain?"

"Why, none other then..." Jo began.

"Captain Jack Sparrow." Gibbs finished putting his hand on my shoulder. "Good job lass. Ye may be crazy but...yer helpful."

"Thanks dude."

**Back to meeeee...**

"Do these pants make me look fat?" I asked Jack and Will. Will shook his head. "Jack?" I looked over at Jack and noticed he was asleep. Will nudged him.

"GIVE IT!" Jack yelled. "What?" He asked.

"Lunatic." I rolled my eyes. "Do these pants make me look fat?"

"No lass. They are fine! Let's go! We hafta meet Gibbs at tha docks!" I sighed.

"Okie dokie." I waltzed over to the cashier, pirate style. "We will be takin these lass."

"Alright, money?" She asked haughtily.

"Um, JACK! Money?" Jack smiled and walked over.

"Ello me beauty." The girl giggled.

"Jack, what a surprise." I looked at them both and grew a bit jealous.

"Tina luv. Would ye mind if I paid ye another time? I hafta leave." She giggled again and nodded. He blew her a kiss and I swear to God, she looked like she was about to faint. Jack, Will and I began to walk to the docks.

"Charming." I said in annoyance. Jack smiled at me.

"Jealous lass?" I gawked at him. "I get it all tha time."

"You are a conceited ass." I said.

"I also get tha all tha time." He frowned. I laughed.

"A PIRATES LIFE FOR ME!" A familiar voice yelled from the docks. I looked up and saw Jo twirling on a barrel. She lost her balance and fell. Jack, Will and I ran over to the docks. We looked down but Jo still didn't emerge.

"JO!" Jack and I yelled. I began to worry. "JO!" We shouted again. Jack tore of his vest, hat and his effects.

"Lass, hold these." Jack was about to dive in when we all heard singing from the other side of the dock.

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming! What do we do we swim, swim!" We all ran over to the other side and saw Jo gracefully back stroking.

"Hiya." She smiled. I glared daggers at her. "Ok, something tells me I am in trouble?"

"GOOD JOB!" I yelled. "We thought you were dead!"

"Aw, and you cared!" She said swimming over to the docks.

"No." I lied. Jack put his hand out and pulled Jo up, but instead he fell in. When he emerged Jo was halfway up. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her. I saw him smiling as he roamed his eyes over her. Water+white shirtBAD!

"GAH! I need a new shirt!" She yelled crossing her arms to cover herself up. Jack frowned childishly and I ran over to the water, pulling Jack out (who, rather unfortunately, pulled Jo out with him).

"Can I have that one!" I asked happily. I always wanted to steal that shirt, and I was oblivious to the fact it was wet... and white. What can I say... blonde. Jo patted me on the back with fake sarcasm, and then, suddenly, it hit me.

"Oh..." I murmured, "I get it." Jack laughed in a disappointed way.

"Can we go talk to the midget now!" I asked changing the subject. Gibbs frowned.

"We didn't get the midget" explained Jo sadly, filling in for Gibb's drunken thoughts. I ran over to Jack, fake crying.

"WHY! We neeeeeeeeed the midddddddget!" I exclaimed, hugging him crazily. Jack looked quite happy.

"Ammie... she was joking." muttered Gibbs throwing each of them a banana.

"Ahah!" I exclaimed forgetting about the midget, "That's where the banana came from!" Jo nodded happily while Will looked confused.

"What does that have to do with anything, miss?" he questioned rudely. I thought for a moment, and then internally started cackling maniacally.

"Well... it explains why they named the monkey Jack... and why Jack was holding a banana" Jack looked taken aback.

"I'm pretty sure I like women, love" He muttered. Jo patted him on the back with sarcastic sympathy. I rolled my eyes.

"Not like that" I explained, playing with his dreads again.

Jo glared at me and I laughed. "Shouldn't we go see the crew?" suggested Jo out of the blue. She wanted Jack and she wasn't going to let me have him to myself. I scowled as Jack nodded.

"Feast yer eyes Captain. All of them, faithful hands before the mast, every man worth his salt. And crazy to boot." Gibbs smiled presenting the crew Jo and him had found.

"Crazy to boot eh? We have something in common friends." Jo smiled from behind Jack.

"So this is your able-bodied crew?" Will and I asked at the same time. Jack looked me with furrowed eyebrows. I smiled.

"You, sailor!" Jack exclaimed. Oh great, here came Jo's part. I sighed as she ran over to Jack and waited for 'her' line to come.

"Cotton, sir." Gibbs whispered.

"Mr. Cotton ? Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?" Jack and Jo said. Jack sighed, turned around and shushed Jo. That didn't stop her.

"Mr. Cotton ! Answer, man!" She yelled triumphantly.

"Exactly." Jack sighed in annoyance.

"He's a mute, lass. Ye know that! Ye told me yerself."

"Oh yeah." She smiled sheepishly.

"Poor devil had his tongue cut out, so he trained the parrot to talk for him. No one's yet figured how." Gibbs stated.

"I have a theory!" Jo yelled. Everyone looked at her. "I believe that while Cotton was picking his teeth with his knife it slipped and cut his tongue off." Jack scoffed.

"Yer crazy. Ye both are."

"Thank you." I blushed.

"Mr. Cotton 's... parrot. Same question." Jack said putting his hand over Jo's mouth.

"Wind in the sails! Wind in the sails!" I fell to the floor laughing.

"Mostly, we figure, that means yes." Gibbs muttered to Jack. Jack stared at Cotton and nodded in what was MAJOR confusion. Or as I call it: Jo confusion.

"O' course it does." He turned and looked at us. "Satisfied?"

"They rock my socks of doom." I told Jack smiling at Marty.

"Innuendo my Nintendo...sorry, I spaced out." Jo sung. Jack smiled.

"I'll take tha' as a yes."

"Well, you've proved they're mad." Will told Jack.

"And what's the benefit for us?" A female voice yelled. Jo squealed in delight and followed Jack again. Ana Maria was her hero. Jack slowly walked over to the figure and slid the hat off her head.

"Ana Maria." She smacked him. Bitch. Jack's head spun back and he looked up at Will.

"I suppose you didn't deserve that one either." He asked in amusement.

"No, that one I deserved."

"You stole my boat!" Ana screeched.

"You stole her boat!" Jo asked like she didn't know what was going on.

"How rude." I stated.

"Actually -" She smacked him again. " - borrowed. Borrowed without permission. But with every intention of bringing it back to you."

"But you didn't!"

"You didn't?" Jo cut in again. Jack glared at her and Ana smiled in amusement.

"You'll get another one." Jack said quickly. Ana pointed her forefinger at him and smiled evilly.

"I will."

"She will!" Jo declared.

Will looked at Jo and laughed. "A better one."

"A better one!" Jack and I yelled in unison.

"That one." Will said referring to the gay ass Interceptor.

"What one? That one! Aye, that one. What say you?" Jack sighed in disappointment. Moral of the little fight: Don't make promises you cannot keep. GOD! It's that simple!

"Aye!" Ana yelled and the crew 'ayed' in agreeance.

"Anchors aweigh." Cotton's parrot squawked.

"Look Ammie, he is your equal." Jo laughed. I groaned.

"You're retarded."

"Thank you young squire."

"What happened to the Shakespeare?" I asked.

"It got boring." She said poking me. I grabbed her hand and twisted it.

"AH!" She yelled. Jack looked over and laughed. "DAMN YOU AND YOUR KUNG FO MOVES!" I smirked and let go of her. She turned around and smiled.

"Too bad you can't do this." She said. She gave me the peace sign right near my eyes and pulled a three stooges move by poking my eyes.

"JO!" I screamed running after her as she ran up the gangplank.

"Heaven help us." Gibbs moaned. Jack and Will laughed.

"Come on out poppet. And I promise I won't hurt you." I lied looking around for Jo. Damn her and her Queen of hiding streak.

"Never." She said sticking her head out of the upside down basin.

"You poked me." I said helping her up.

"You twisted me." I looked at her and shrugged. BOOM!

"GAH!" Jo screamed. Suddenly, the ship went from calm to crazy rollie coastie style. "Deck..."

"Aye." I said falling over. We walked up and gasped. The rain was beating down on us and lightening lit up the dark sky.

"I told ye it's frightful bad luck to bring women aboard, sir." Gibbs yelled. Jo and I looked up and glared at him.

"Whoa." Jo said running over to help Will. Will smiled in appreciation.

"Give it a rest old geezer!" I screamed. Gibbs glanced at us and ran over to help Will

"How can we sail to an island that nobody can find with a compass that doesn't work?" He asked as Gibbs helped them both. I sniggered.

"Aye, the compass doesn't point north but we're not trying to find north, are we?" Gibbs looked at Jack. "We should drop canvas, sir."

"She can hold a bit longer." Jack smiled glancing at his compass. I fell over and screamed. I whacked my head off of the banister. Will ran over and ripped a piece of his shirt off and applied the pressure to my head.

"Come with me." He said pulling me up gently.

"Ok." I moaned. We walked below deck and I shivered. Stupid water.

"Are you alright?" He asked making me sit down. I looked around and noticed we were in the galley.

"Yesiree skipper!" I shouted happily.

"That was a nasty fall." I nodded in agreement.

"She can hold longer, he says. I DONT THINK SO!" Jo screamed. She walked into the room beside Jack.

"Lass, I didn't think ye'd fall overboard."

"You don't think much do ya skipper?" She asked.

"I ain't answering tha." Jack smiled and sat down. "How's yer head?"

"YES! How is it?"

"Tis fine." I said.

"Can we eat?" Jo asked.

"Yer always hungry!" I shouted in my pirate voice. "And you don't gain! Damn you. Remember..."

"Ok, I didn't know that was the dog food alright! Your mom buys good dog food though." I laughed.

"You're weird." I said.

"You ate dog food lass?"

"Twas an accident." I assured him.

"BRING ON THE GRUB!" Jo shouted as a man brought out some soup. Jack looked at Jo and I very closely.

"Shwhat?" Josie asked with a mouthful of bread.

"Nothing." Jack smiled. I followed his eyes and spit out my bread in Jo's soup.

"Waiter there is someone's BREAD IN MY SOUP!"

"Jo, cover your shirt. Jacks roaming." Jo covered herself up and glared daggers at Jack. Boy, if looks could kill...Jack would be a goner.

"We need new clothes buddy!" Jo said taking Jack's soup.

"Wonderful lass. I bought ye some. Go find me cabin and put 'em on. Ammie, well, yer screwed lass." I scowled.

"Peace out duck town Ams." I rolled my eyes and whispered to Jack.

"Pity we didn't buy her a frilly dress" He looked at me in shock.

"I didn't realize ye were so mean, love, nice work" I giggled in acceptance and said, "Well, you know, all those years hanging out with Jo and with my own personality warped me into a rather... eccentric character." Jack nodded, a smirk on his face.

"Hey, Jack, I forgot to tell you, remember, when I get drunk, I do a killer impression of you." I laughed evilly and took a bite of a bright green apple. "Apple?" I asked seductively (though jokingly).Jack smiled in a rather sexy way and took the apple from my hands. He took a bite of it and placed it back in my hands.

"Now, it'll taste like rum!" I exclaimed hyperactively, taking another bite at the same spot. Jack laughed and sat forward, his elbows resting on the table, "You really like rum, eh?"

"Aye" I said, sitting the apple down and looking at Jack.It was silent for a moment.

"Wha' else do you like Ammie?" he asked, finding a new subject.I thought for a moment. In the future the answer would have been Captain Jack Sparrow, pirates, and writing, but now, the answer had to adjust.

"Well, I enjoy poking fun at powdered wigs, collecting "borrowed" jewellery, stealing potatoes, and... pirates?" I declared, unsure.

Jack smirked, "All good things". I smiled happily and looked down at my wet, messed up half braided hair.

"Jack, will you fix my hair?" I asked openly.He continued grinning and stood up.

"O' course." He swayed toward me, and began braiding my hair. Though he paused for a second. I looked up at him.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, I was just thinking..." he said, then paused.

"What were you thinking?" I pressed. He frowned.

"You really want to know?" I nodded happily. This was going to be amusing.

"Well... you have rather nice..." he began, but was cut off.

"THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING!" Jo yelled jumping in the room with her pirate boots on and doing the Jessica Simpson dance. "AND THAT'S JUST WHAT THEY'LL DO. ONE OF THESE DAYS THESE BOOTS ARE GONNA WALK ALL OVER YOU!" She bowed. Jack, jokingly, clapped. "Thank you, thank you."

"Way to ruin a moment Jo." She stared at me in confusion.

"What could I have possibly done now?" She asked with a smile on her face. Damn her! She's always smiling!

"Nothing." Jack said braiding the other half of my hair. I scowled at Jack. He frowned.

"Turn that frown upside down!" She squealed. "I'm in such a good, hyper mood right now! Will! Dance with me!" She added grabbing Wills hands.

"I can't what would Liz...Miss Swann think?" Jo sighed.

"Eliza-BITCH is more like it!"

"Perfect nickname for her luv." Jack pointed out. Will glared at them both.

"Will, just dance." He sighed.

"Alright." And they danced. Jo laughing all the while.

"Jack, almost done?" I asked impatiently.

"Not quite lass if ye'd quit squirming we'd be done."

"Will man, I hafta show you a few things. Firstly: DONT STEP ON MY FEET!" Jack and I laughed. "Secondly: Be loose. God, no wonder Liz is a bitch towards you. Man, do I hate her." Will scowled.

"Then dance alone." He huffed.

"Willy...Will...Will-man, come on." She sighed. "Not everyone has to like someone. People hate me, do I care? HELL NO!"

"She's right Eunuch." Jack said. "There, done." I squealed and picked up a spoon. I couldn't see a thing.

"I'll be back." I said running to look at my hair.

**As I checked my hair something, interesting, happened...**

"Jack, dance with me." Jo asked skipping around the room.

"I can't dance lass." He said sitting down.

"Fine." Jo danced around the room and began to sing the song she learned at the homeless shelter. She loves the homeless. "Darling let's be pirates and sail away together. We can travel the seven seas and then look inside each other for the buried treasure. Darling let's sail away... We can hang our blades at our waists and drink till the end. Don't you dare leave my side we'll sail to that horizon. Darling let's sail away...Away, away from here. We'll ride the waves together." She finished singing and dancing.

"What's that?" Jack asked interested.

"A little shanty some homeless people taught me." Jo smiled. "I love 'em."

"Tis a nice tune, sung with a nice voice."

"Aww...sweet words, sweet cheeks." Jack got up and grabbed her hand in his and put his other on her waist. "Shall we dance Mr Sparrow?"

"Aye." They danced for a bit until I waltzed into the room. Jo looked up at me.

"Hi." I smiled angrily.

"Sup?" She replied gangster style.

"We need to talk."

"No, we don't...ok." She said looking at my face. I pulled Jo out of the room and into a storage closet, failing to lock the door.

"Jo..." I hissed.

"What?" She demanded as she happily sat on a barrel of rum.

"You interrupt again, you pay" I muttered more darkly than ever. Jo put her hands up in defence.

"Goes both ways."I frowned.

"He was going to tell me I had nice boobs!" Jo's eyes raised in surprise and I started laughing maniacally.

"Sorry to break it to you Ams, he was dancing with me!" bragged Jo.I smirked.

"Even the principal danced with you"

Jo shrugged, "That was a prank, Ams. Ha, worked out wonderfully."

"Even if it was, an old fat man dancing with you, that's worse than Ana with Marty! Though, that would be entertaining..."There was a knock at the door.

"Ammie! Jo!" called Jack, "Come out! I sighed deeply and stood, blocking the door.

"Remember, you do it again, you die, Jo" I threatened only half joking. I walked out of the closet.

"To inform you, I didn't interrupt, you left the room." I gawked at her.

"I was worried you never would come out..." Jack said seductively to both of us.

I nodded, "And how do you mean to prove that?"

"Ya man, how!" Jo said doing weird king fo moves. Jack smiled more.

"Yer weird."

"Aww, chocolate factory moment." I sighed happily remember those wonderful moment.

"When I went to see that movie, I forgot my glasses. But, thankfully I saw that hot, weird man." Jo smiled.

"Who?" Jack asked looking at the dazed and happy faces on us.

"Guess what?" Jo asked all of a sudden.

"What?" I asked angrily.

"I got initiated on the first day of school." I looked at her and burst out laughing.

"What happened?"

"They wrote NINE on my cheeks."

"Sucker." I laughed. Jack looked at us, totally lost.

"Nothing my dear Jack." I said patting him on the shoulder.

"Peanut, peanut butter and jelly." Jo sung. "Jellllyyyy." She whispered. "I want PB and J!"

"Pb and jelly?" Jack said. Jo looked at him and fell to the floor.

"Jo, peanut butter hasn't been invented yet" I muttered to her with sarcastic sympathy. Jack looked confused and I whispered to him.

"Don't worry about it... she's just gone psycho, she misses our old lives... though it's doubtful they were much better..." I stopped explaining and smirked. "Where's the rum?"

"Rum's a good substitute." Jo said jumping up and walking into the galley.

"Wacko."

"Do ye love ta make fun of her?" Jack asked seriously.

"Duh." I replied.

"Wench." He said walking into the galley.

"Rum, is like, God's gift to mankind." Jo smiled downing half of her bottle.

"Right on." I said taking a bottle from Jack. Will grimaced. "Lemme guess Turner, you've never had a drink before?"

"I did once! It was...ok." He said sounding unsure.

"Liar!" Jo coughed.

"Jack." I purred. "Give him some rum."

"Nah, more fer us."

"You know, he has a point." Jo agreed.

**"But, **he **needs some." I hissed. **

"Whoa, talk about whiny today."

"Lass, yer nuts."

"Please, for me." I smiled.

"Alright." Jack sighed. "OUCH!" Something hard hit me on the head. "Jo!"

"What!" She asked. "Somebody's throwing stuff...I don't know, someone is." Jack laughed.

"Witch." I moaned drowning my woes in the rum.

:x:x:

A/N: Like? No! Piss off. (smiles sweetly)  
**Jack: **Jo, there gonna kill ye.  
**Ammie: **YES! I mean…NO!  
**Me: **PISS OFF WORLD! MUAHAHAHA! I hate my parents right now. Grrr!  
**Jack: **Tha' had absolutely nothing ta do with tha story but…review savvy?  
**Ammie:** Yeah. Review, or I shall eat you! (laughs manaically)

PIRATES OUT!

**EDIT: I changed it from being italic. Sorry, I was getting dizzy Jo... lol. (hugs) I still lovey ou though. We haven't gotten any new reviews! (gasp) OMG! Anyways, I can't move, so if we do happen to get any (wink,wink) I shall tell you asap. Lots o' rum and noddles, Ammers**


	6. The Hunt

**Chapter 6-The Hunt-Josie's P.O.V**

Hey. Jo here. WE ARE BACK! YAY! Anywho, read it and weep it suckas cause it is the SHiT! 

The cursed ship came in view. Surrounded in fog, It was hard to make out the crew working on the deck. Two pirates, one with a dress in his arms and another rubbing a wooden eye, made their way down to where Elizabeth was being held captive. She turned around and walked up to them, determined and unafraid.

Ye'll be dining wif tha captain tonight. And he requests that ye were this." The pirate smiled handing her the dress. She took one look at it and then smugly smiled.

"Well, you can tell the captain that I am disinclined to aquest his request." The pirates both looked at each other and sniggered.

"He thought ye'd say that, and he also said if tha was tha case that ye'd be dining wif tha crew." He paused, and roamed his eyes over her body. "And ye'd be naked." She widened her eyes and wrinkled her nose in disgust as she  
grabbed the dress from him. The pirate grew angry.

"Fine!" He turned around and began pushing the other one out of the room and soon they were gone. Elizabeth changed for dinner quickly, and waited from someone to come get her. The door knobbed turned and in walked the pirate who had hit her early on. She put on a brave face and walked into out the door abruptly. She didn't turn around to see if he was following her, the grunts told her he was right there. He grabbed her on the shoulder and they stopped in front of a huge door. He opened it and there was Captain Barbossa, leaned back on a chair with the monkey on his lap, who was playing with the medallion. Barbossa snatched the gold away and pushed the monkey away from him as Elizabeth sat down. She picked up the fork and knife and began eating slowly, not sure of what to expect from the food.

"There's no need to impress miss. Ye must be hungry." She looked at him and in a matter of seconds she had thrown down her fork and was gnawing on a chicken leg. Without taking his eyes of her, Barbossa poured her some wine and slid it over to her as she grabbed a piece of bread. She grabbed the goblet and drank most of her wine. Then she picked up the bread and began chewing on it. "And the apples? How bout one of those?" He said holding out a bright  
shiny green apple. She looked from him, to the apple and dropped her bread.

"It's poisoned." She gasped. He laughed at her.

"There's no sense in killing ye Miss Turner." He told her, putting the apple on the table and giving her a frightful smile.

"Then release me. I am of no further value to you." He sighed and went into his coat. He pulled put the medallion.

"You don't know what this is. Do ye?" He asked spinning the trinket around in his hands. She thought it over and then answered him.

"It's a pirate medallion." He sat there and began to tell her the tale. "This is Aztec gold. One of 882 identical pieces in the chest of Cortez himself." Elizabeth gave an infinitesimal shrug, intrigued despite herself. "Ah, so you don't know as much as you pretend." He got up and walked behind her, putting his hands on the back of her chair for support. "My crew and I, we found the gold, and we did more than take one piece, we took it all. Rich men we were and we spent it and traded it and gave it away in exchange for drink and food and pleasant company. But we found out: the drink could not sate us, and the food turned to ashes in our mouths, and no amount of pleasant company could ease our torment." His face fell and he walked over to the monkey and continued his tale. "We are cursed men, Miss Turner."

"I hardly believe in ghost stories anymore, Captain Barbossa." She said giving him a disbelieving look. He smiled and ignored her statement.

"There is but one way to remove the curse. All of the scattered pieces of the treasure must be restored in full, and the blood repaid." Barbossa then turned to her and chuckled. "And thanks to ye, we have that last piece." She looked at him, perplexed.

"And.the blood to be repaid?" She asked.

"That's why there be no sense in killing ye.yet." Her eyes widened. "Apple?" Angrily, she jumps up, knocks the apple out of his hand and reveals of a knife. Frantically, she runs for the door but Barbossa grabs her and she thrusts her knife into his chest. She backs away, her hands clamped over her mouth.

"I'm wondering, after ye kill me, what ye plan on doing next." Elizabeth ran on deck and screamed. All the crew were naught but skeletons. She backed away and fell into a horde of them and her screams pierced there ears. She backed away and fell onto a sheet, she was thrown into the air and she came back down and once again was threw into the air. A pirate caught her and she screamed as they swung around the deck. She fell and landed on her feet.   
Taking cover, she ran underneath the staircase. All was silent until the monkey appeared from behind her. She got up but was grabbed by Barbossa.

"Look!" He shouted shaking her. "Look, the moonlight shows us for what we really are. We are not amongst the living so we cannot die." He spun her around, making him face her. "But neither are we dead! We have all the desires of the living but we cannot satisfy them. For too long have I been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long have I been starving to death and haven't die." He shook her. "I feel nothing! Not the spray of the sea, or the wind on my flesh." He reached out to touch her and his hand turned to skeleton. "Nor the warmth of a woman's flesh." Barbossa grabbed a bottle of rum, uncorked it and began drinking it. The rum you could see running down his body. "Ye best start believing in ghost stories Miss Turner, yer in one." Elizabeth screamed and tried to get away until the all the pirates flew up and swarmed around her. They jumped on her body and sucked her soul right from her body. They chopped her into…

"JOSIE! That's not how it goes." Ammie screamed as the sailors laughed at my story.

"Shh. One can only hope!" I told her trying to continue my story. That was my goal when I was older to be a writer, or a cop. Or a cop writer. Now that would be cool.

"Finish the story lass." Jack told me. Ammie sighed.

"At least tell it RIGHT." She smiled. I gave her a pout and she rolled her eyes.

"Fine! Ye best start believing in ghost stories Miss Turner. Yer in one." Elizabeth screamed and ran into the doors. Barbossa threw his glass at the door and turner to the crew and loaughed. They joined him until he snarled. "What are ye laughing at. Back ta work!" Elizabeth was inside, huddled in a corner, looking around terrified. THE END." Everyone was quiet until someone said.

"I liked the other ending better." Everyone burst out laughing, except for Will. He sat there angrily staring at the floor.

"Kudos to you man." Ammie yelled out. Will continued being a git and Ammie soon gave up on her Kudos to Will  
phase.

"Ammie! Jo! RUM!" Jack shouted at the sailors, looking for the girls. He knew the thought of rum would lure them out.

"BEAUTIFUUUUUUUUL RUM IS MY SaVIORRRRRRR!" Ammie sung completely off key, running out, her hair swishing in a weird way. I, however, was just a bit behind, promising Marty for his song later on. I jumped up next to Jack, whispering in his ear. "Don't let the Ammie eat your ear!"  
Suddenly Ammie grabbed my hat, readjusted it hat on her, and pranced into the galley. I laughed for a second then gasped. I brought my hands to my face just like Jack did when the "rum was gone."

"Wait, she has my hat." I jumped up. "SIR AMMIE PREPARE TO FACE THY DOOM!" I grabbed a fork and ran into the galley after her. She was hidden but alas, she was not the hiding queen. "Ammie, I know you're in the barrel."  
Her head popped out.

"How did you know?" I smiled.

Call it womans intuition." I grabbed the hat off her head, put it on mine, and blew her a raspberry as I ran out.

"HEY!" She shouted running back into the room. I stood beside Jack. "You stole it."

"Pirate." I stated. Jack smiled. I frowned. "No far." I looked at her as if she had lost her mind.

"You got the hair so I GET THE HAT SAVVY!"

"One word for you deaire: PFFFFFFT!" I said in her face. She nodded.

"Good word." I nodded happily sitting one of the other side of Jack. He smiled snaking his arm around out waists. "Jack." I threatened. He took it off and smiled.

"Sorry luv." I gawked at him.

"I DIDNT SAY TAKE IT OFF!"

"But if you want to strip...no bad thoughts." Ammie muttered.

"Ammie dear, come here." She frowned but followed reluctantly. "Lets go in Jacks cabin, hide and watch him change." Her eyes went wide. "HEY! You were thinking it, I just said it." She laughed.

"LETS GO! SQUEEEE!" We made our way to the hottest pirate ever cabin and snuck in. I went in first hiding behind his desk and Ammie in his bed.

"FIRST DIBS." Ammie had exclaimed, smirking. I frowned childishly and began searching throughout the contents  
of the mahogany desk. There were letters, and maps, and vacant rum bottle... "WHERE IS HIS HIDDEN SECRET?" Jack simpered, entering the room,

"Those would be on my, loves"

"GAH!" I screamed and spun around clenching my chest. "You scared the life out of me." I added. Jack smiled seductively. He turned over to Ammie and smiled.

"Nice ta see someone in me bed luv." Ammie winked. My mouth dropped and I dived on the bed. Ammie scowled.

"You know, two is better then one." Jack smiled seductively.

"O' course luv." Still, not wanting to loose our virginity to a sex crazed pirate. ( Well, we did but SHH! ) We both fell of the bed in a heap and Jack gave us confusing looks.

"WE are going to leave now." Ammie stated dragging me to the door. I nodded and saluted Jack away. He raised his eyebrows and we shut the door. Ammie and I turned and laughed at each other. "Now, I know we DO want to sex him up but, not at the moment."

"Aye, wait for the opportune moment." I agreed. She nodded and we did our secret handshake and headed to our cabin. We opened it and saw Will.

"William Turner..." Ammie said in a deep mocking voice. I exploded into laughter and looked him in the eyes.

"And we ask again, are you really a eunuch?" Ammie nodded at me as to say 'good question!' Will shook his head disapprovingly and attempted to leave. "William Jr. ... Answer the ghetto." Ammie demanded, shoving him to  
the ground with an awesome kung-fu black belt move. His neck was under her foot. Jack burst into the scene of the crime, seeing Will on the ground.

"Ammie! Wha' the... bloody hell! Are you alive whelp?" I patted Jack's shoulder, whispering about how Ammie wouldn't intentionally kill a eunuch.

"Still. It look like it hurts luv." Jack said staring wide eyed as Ammie tickled Will with her boots. Will lay on the floor squirming around.

"HE'S A CATERPILLAR!" I exclaimed happily. All three of them looked at me. "Look at how he wiggles." Ammie shook her head and went back to tickling Will.

"Luv, leave the whelp alone." Jack sighed. Ammie shook her head no, so I tripped her.

"OUCH!" She said quickly standing up. "What was that for?" I nudged her and made her look at how angry Jack was. Ammie's eyes went wide and then she looked down and whispered.

"He looks like a tomato." I snorted.

"Something funny!" Jack shouted. We both jumped and Will looked at Jack.

"Jack please, it was not of any importance." Jack shook his head and put a hand up signalling for Will to shut his trap.

"Chill pirate." I told him.

"Chill? WHAT ARE YE SAYING?" Jack shouted angrily banging his fist on the wall. Ammie and I jumped back even more.

"I'm not insulting you Jack. If I was, you would know it." I hissed angrily.

"She was telling you to calm down." Ammie whispered dangerously. I nodded crazily, frowning in a strange way. While, Ammie blinked, calling up those acting class beauties... fake tears. She blinked again causing several tears to rail down her face.

"We were just... coming back to the cabin... and Will the eunuch over here... was in there...why can he... ruin... everything for us?... You were already mad at... us and then he, the freaking whelp comes along." I rolled my eyes, but luckily Jack didn't notice and stared at Ammie with content.

"Wha' the hell?" I groaned at his stupidity and moved in front of him, fixing his hat.

You see... Ammie thinks that you were mad at her and then... she vented her anger on William". Jack nodded in understanding.

"Jus' go ta bed luvs." Jack said rubbing his forehead. "Tis been a long day."

"Sure thing." Ammie said, still crying. She went out the door and grabbed my arm. I gave her the most perplexed look ever.

"Alright genius. Where are we gonna sleep? HUH! DIDJA THINK ABOUT THAT!" I yelled like a maniac.

"Ah. I knew I forgot something." She muttered to the floor. "Alright then. What are we gonna do?" I walked around, scratching my forehead and thinking. FYI: TRYING to think. I got it.

"I GOT IT!" See, told you. "Follow me Ammie darling." I grabbed her arm and linked it with mine and we were off to find a room.

_Hello dearies. Jo here still. Course, why would I leave. Ughh. I feel like crap. Stupid vball and effing Courtney. _

_Jack: -kisses-_

_Ammie: o.o grr._

_Me: SCORE! _

_Jack and Ammie: REVIEW SAVVY!_


End file.
